023: SoraRabbit Watches: Kanegon's Cocoon

Welcome to the latest entry in SoraRabbit Watches, and the fourth entry in my Ultra Series of posts. I already did a close look at a crazy turtle-centric episode of Ultra Q and an overview of the entire series. Today I'm here to cover another odd episode. This one is tied with "Grow Up! Little Turtle" for the honor of being a strange, out of place episode in a normally (relatively) serious show about paranormal investigations. This is my look at Episode 15: Kanegon's Cocoon. (Full spoilers, of course, follow.)

So picky. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

This is the only episode of the entire series that does not feature the main characters at all. The narrator and the theme song are also absent, as they were with Grow Up Little Turtle. Note that this episode was written by Masahiro Yamada, who gifted us with the epic tale of Taro and his flying turtle.

The episode opens with some kids stealing eggs and taking them to a dump populated with other boys. The kids have set up a thriving kid marketplace full of junk. They sell things you’d expect… trash, bike tires, snake skins… that sort of thing. Business seems to be booming.

One of the kids, eagerly buying the stolen eggs, drops a yen. And this is where we meet our hero, a boy named Kaneo.

Our… uh, hero. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Kaneo picks up the coin and shoves the kids away when they reach for it. Kaneo apparently has a nose for money, and is notoriously greedy. This is his major defining character trait. You can already tell he’s not very likable. He shoves kids, steals their money, and snatches things from them. He didn’t pay for the ratty umbrella he has his minion shade him with. Is there anything redeemable about this kid?

No. Just gonna say that now. He doesn’t become more likable.

In the junk market one of the boys finds a mysterious cocoon. It jingles when he shakes it and he can somehow tell that it’s got 30 yen in it. Maybe 40. Kaneo promptly steals it. His plan is to raise it so he can have even more money, because that’s how both cocoons and money work.

Kaneo and his friends skip along to a jaunty song until they’re interrupted by the foul villain of this episode. A rude, ill-tempered grown up who hangs around the dump, has a minion, and rides in a bulldozer. His name?

Um, yeah. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Chumatsu, or as the children call him, Daddy Walrus, shows up and thoroughly wrecks their shit. He has his nameless henchman drive the bulldozer over the marketplace, smashing all the kid’s hard work for no stated reason. They call him Daddy Walrus because of his cartoony villain mustache.

I think he’s quite stylish, actually. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

I assume the reason he’s a jerk is that he’s a grown up and grown ups are mean. Typical kid show villain motivation. Does he own the dump? Does he just work there? The episode does not clue us in with any certainty.

I wonder if the turtle shell hat is a reference to Taro from Grow Up Little Turtle… (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Kaneo’s anger is short-lived, as he remembers his cocoon. He rushes home with his prize. He hurries through his homework and asks his dad for allowance. His dad rips into him for being too focused on money. That’s when Kaneo imparts some wisdom to his old man.

His parents, of course, don’t appreciate this disrespect. Mom threatens him with the idea that he may become something called a Kanegon.

Sigh. Moms, am I right? (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Kaneo has no idea what that is. His dad doubles down on the fairy tale, stating that if he keeps picking up money that doesn’t belong to him, he’ll turn into a monster. Kaneo doesn’t care. He just wants the cash, yo.

Dad is straight up rockin’ that J. Jonah Jameson ‘stash. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Dad goes on to say that Kanegons have coin purses for heads and Martian bodies. Their eyes stick out and always face money. Its mouth is a wallet zipper and its body lights up red. Kaneo thinks this all sounds pretty good, but dad has the kicker. Kanegon has to eat money to live. The tall tale is interrupted when Kaneo remembers his cocoon. He runs into his bedroom and sees that it’s already grown enormous. That didn’t take long.

One track mind on this kid. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Kaneo dances around the cocoon like a maniac and falls on it, finding that it is, indeed, full of coins. He reaches in to get the money and is pulled inside the cocoon. This begins a trippy sequence where the walls melt, fog rolls in, and a bizarre mobile made up of twisted metal and an eyeball twitches menacingly.

This would make a great baby mobile. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

The cocoon floats up into the cartoon clouds and from it emerges… you guessed it… Kaneo transformed into a Kanegon!

The majestic and graceful Kanegon. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Mom calls Kaneo for breakfast, mockingly calling him a Kanegon without realizing this is what he is now.

Mom had some Irish coffee this morning. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Hitler-Dad notices and screams. Mom too. They lock themselves in another room. Kaneo— the dullard— still doesn’t know what’s going on. They must greet him most mornings screaming and running away. After peering into a mirror he learns the truth. He has become a monster. (Well, more of a monster.)

What a lovely creature. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Kaneo the Kanegon wanders the streets aimlessly, mocked by everyone he passes. He is in deep denial at this point. A monster without a plan.

What’s worse, he’s getting hungry. Desperation leads him to the house of one of his friends. I’m sure his friends will greet him with understanding and support, right?

Uh… guess not. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

The friend— we’re not given his name— charges Kaneo 200 yen to help him change back. Plastic surgeons, after all, charge a lot of money for those kinds of procedures. (Ah, kid logic.) Kaneo, ever the industrious monster, haggles him down to 150 yen. Sold!

Aww. Sad monster. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Back at the dump, they take up a collection and Kaneo gobbles it all down. We get to see that he has a counter showing how much cash is in him and it slowly ticks down as a sort of life timer.

A hunger meter… what a handy feature. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

The boys are all pretty amazed by this at first and treat it like a game. Soon, however, they’re all out of money and want it back. The kids shove him around and try to get their money back. One kid even contemplates reaching into his butt. (For real… I can’t make this stuff up.) Another kid has a better idea… it went into his mouth, why not reach in there? Oh yeah, the zipper teeth are sharp. Dang.

Kaneo looks pretty happy about it, actually. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

This lighthearted fun is interrupted by Daddy Walrus. The kids scatter, but Kaneo can’t run as fast as them in this awkward form. Somehow they manage to escape the notice of their villain.

What DOES Daddy Walrus do for a living? (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Note that the henchman is our old pal Masanari Nihei, who played Ide on Ultraman. (You may recall him turning up as one of the inept bank robbers on Grow Up Little Turtle.) It was nice seeing him again.

It seems like Daddy Walrus’s only goal in life is to not be around children. Which makes it especially strange that he spends all his time chasing after them. Whatever… grown ups are jerks. (As established previously.)

Meanwhile, Kaneo is starving. The kids are coming to realize just how expensive it is to keep a Kanegon alive.

This took a dark turn. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Kaneo the Kanegon is whining and doing a good impression of Goku from Dragon Ball. (“I’m so hungry, I can’t move anymore!“) His counter is going down rapidly. (Too rapidly, actually. At the rate it was going, he should have been dead long before the scene ended.) No one has any money left, and some of the boys wander away, bored.

The kids that remain decide that the only possible option they have at this point is to ask “God” for help. God turns out to be a crazy old witch lady who lives in a creepy run down shack… which makes about as much sense as everything else in this episode, so we’ll go with it. She performs some sort of ritual that involves chanting, jumping around waving a bundle of sticks, and generally scaring the kids. God is an odd bird.

They let anyone become a god nowadays. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

God’s verdict is that the only way to save Kaneo is to turn Daddy Walrus upside down. The kids are understandably annoyed with this.

“We now convene the Council of Kids…” (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

They’re also getting increasingly annoyed by Kaneo’s nonstop whining. He’s making a pest of himself and his friends have hit their limits. They’re going into debt for this irritating monster. One boy suggests they sell him to the circus. (Kids are great.) Another suggests a college research center. Some of them have their reservations about these plans. Kaneo, after all, was their friend “a long time ago”. (I think by this point two days have passed.) They’re pretty sure the college would dissect him.

Maybe a dog pound?

Do… do dog pounds do that? (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

There seems to be no way out for them. Kaneo overhears all this loud discussion and runs away. In the meantime the kids get their best idea yet. If they teach him tricks they could put on a show. That’s when they notice he ran off.

Where would a hungry Kanegon go? The bank, of course. He’s lurking outside and when a lady conveniently drops a box of money, Kaneo pounces, eating as much as he can and scaring her.

Om nom nom. Credit: Tsuburaya Productions) — Om nom nom. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

This attracts everyone’s attention and the authorities are called. Meanwhile, Kaneo downs almost 4000 yen, filling his counter back up. (Even though by all rights he should have been dead several scenes ago.) The cops summon Kaneo’s parents, who must have told the police their son had become a monster? That’s not really explained. Kaneo’s loyal “friends” are also there, since I guess they heard the commotion. During all this, Kaneo’s parents pick up some coins. That comes back later.

Anyway, the boys rescue Kaneo and try to teach him to balance on a ball so he’ll be ready for his new life as a circus animal. (One of the boys even has a whip.) The poor wretch has no skills (aside from eating money), so this doesn’t go well. He falls over and refuses to try his circus tricks anymore. He’s hungry again. (Kanegons must have a very high metabolism.) The kids lose patience again.

He really does have a great support system. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

After more of Kaneo’s incessant whining, the last of his friends give up and start to leave him alone. His tactic to get them back on his side? You guessed it— more whining. For some reason this doesn’t work.

This is when Daddy Walrus strikes again. (I guess all he does is ride around on a bulldozer all day, looking for kids. Which is pretty sketchy, if you ask me.) The kids fight back this time, having had enough of D.W.’s shit. Their plan is to tie trash to the back of the bulldozer. Kaneo’s contribution is to quickly fall in a hole.

Kaneo heroically falls in a hole. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Daddy Walrus and his henchman chase the children on foot and come across Kaneo. As expected, they’re terrified by the monster. The henchman falls into the hole and is never seen again. Kaneo is bit by a snake and chases D.W. asking for help.

Last known photo of Daddy Walrus. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Daddy Walrus decides his best means of escape would be the bulldozer… which turns out to be a possibly fatal mistake. Kaneo leaps on the bulldozer and annoys D.W. until he accidentally starts running it in circles.

Okay, Kaneo just killed a man. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Daddy Walrus drives off the cliff. Kaneo shows zero remorse.

Kaneo is a savage. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

The other kids investigate but the bulldozer is empty. Daddy Walrus is lying on the cliff face, his leg at an awkward angle, begging for help and twitching pathetically. It’s pretty brutal. I’m 100 percent certain Daddy Walrus is not walking away from this one

Kaneo is too busy to be concerned (not that he would be anyway…) because now is the moment the prophesy is fulfilled. Daddy Walrus fell upside down, so Kaneo is cured in a very dramatic fashion that involves a bunch of sparks and a jet pack?

Uh huh. Now he can fly. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Kaneo the Kanegon launches high into the sky. I really hope Japan cashed in on this by making Kanegon-shaped toy rockets. I would totally buy one. Or eight.

He flies really far up and a parachute comes out of nowhere. He floats literally for miles before coming down safely. And although he’s traveled several miles, all his friends come running up as soon as he lands.

Do all monsters come standard with parachutes? (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Kaneo is cured! Huzzah! Never mind where the parachute came from or why he’s wearing clothes now. Also, he was not wearing shoes when the cocoon ate him, but now he is. I guess this is all part of the prophesy?

Whatever. After watching this episode three times, my disbelief is so far suspended that I’m never getting it back. Kaneo runs off happily to let his parents know they’re okay. But then the twist ending! Both his parents have become Kanegons! (I was very confused on my first viewing because I forgot they picked up some of the money at the bank earlier… which is why I made it a point to mention it in this post.) Mommy and Daddy Kanegon giggle creepily and the episode ends.

This is giving me a fantastic sitcom idea... (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

So there you have it. In recap, Kanegon’s Cocoon was a fun, but odd episode of Ultra Q. At least this one had a clear moral, unlike the Turtle episode. The moral, obviously, is greed makes you into a monster. Literally. But still… did Kaneo really learn a lesson from his experience? He was changed back by an odd prophesy given by a kooky lady who lives in the woods. His salvation didn’t come from any sort of personal growth. Did he learn his lesson about avarice? Probably, but it’s not entirely clear he did.

Seriously, though, what did Daddy Walrus have to do with turning him back? Wouldn’t a more apt cure be something along the lines of “give all your hoarded money away to your friends” or “promise not to steal anymore”? Treat your friends better? Respect your parents? I don’t know… there could have been many more fitting things for God to have told them. The logic of tying the adult bully to his cure eludes me. I do think it’s pretty funny that Kaneo annoyed Daddy Walrus off the cliff. His super power isn’t sniffing out money after all… it’s being really damned irritating.

What I like most about this episode is the fact that Kaneo’s parents ended up cursed as well, even though they’re the ones who warned him about the Kanegon. I find it very realistic that his parents didn’t heed their own advice.

This episode leaves us with so many unanswered questions. Where did the cocoon come from? Did God actually have mystical powers? What was Daddy Walrus’s job title? Did his henchman have a name? How did he survive the bulldozer crash? Did he survive? Why did Kaneo’s Dad have a Hitler mustache? What was the point of the Kanegon’s hunger counter if he survived long after it reached zero?

And most importantly, now that Kaneo is a boy again, is he going to be pooping money for the next week?

I consider Kanegon’s Cocoon to be the darkest episode of Ultra Q. That may seem like a strange opinion, considering this is a show that regularly features giant monster attacks and alien invasions. Humanity is threatened every week, and yet this episode stands above most of those episodes in sheer dark content. A child’s greed transforms him into a monstrous form with a fatal weakness. Kaneo is constantly on the verge of death throughout the episode, and his friend’s dedication to his survival is only as strong as their faltering patience for his annoyances. The campy silliness of Daddy Walrus and “God” only serve to magnify the dire threat Kaneo is under throughout.

And the episode ends with the twist that now his parents are under the same curse. Is there an escape for them? Do they have to similarly torment Daddy Walrus or will they have a different cure? Is Kaneo doomed to become a penniless orphan once his monster parents eat his inheritance and starve to death? It’s probably best not to think about what comes after. What comes after could only be worse for everyone involved.

Thanks for reading my latest review of Ultra Q. Unless I get any requests, I probably won’t deep dive into any other episodes. (Of course I may change my mind if I get a whim.) It will be a bit before I get through Ultraman and post about that, but I’ll be back soon with something different. See you then!