Video Game Blog 037: Retro Corner #2
Have you ever played a side-scrolling shooter and thought, “Oh, if only this game was super horny in really weird directions”? Well, if so, ew. But aside from that, you’re in luck! On today’s Retro Corner, we’re going to talk about one of the oddest shooters ever made, Cho Aniki!
When I got my Duo-R and started looking around for games to try, I came upon this one pretty early on. Seeing the name brought a little tickle way in the back of my mind. As soon as I looked it up, I remembered it from a YouTube video I saw a couple of years ago about the weirdest shooter ever. Of course my interest was piqued and I had to try it. I also found the sequel, so I got that one too. (I’m hoping to find the other games in the series as they seem to get progressively stranger.)
Since this is such a unique topic, it wouldn’t really fit in with any other game, so we get a double feature just concerning the two games in the series I have so far been able to track down. Buckle in and attempt to prepare yourself for the madness of Cho Aniki!
Cho Aniki (translation: Super Big Brother) was released in 1992 for the Super CD-ROM² System by Nippon Computer Systems. It sparked a franchise that currently has ten games. (Three of which are Japan-only mobile phone games.)
The… er… intricate story is that the evil Emperor Botei-biru (a pun on the Japanese word for body-builder) is running low on the vital protein he needs to maintain his physique. He begins conquering star systems using his Builder Army. His goal is to build protein factories, enslaving the people he conquers. Heaven sends two warriors, Idaten and Benten, to defeat the Emperor.
Among those that assist our heroes are the Cho Aniki, two hugely buff men in speedos who were enslaved and freed in the opening cut scene. Their names are Adon and Samson… and no, I don’t know which is which and neither do you. They can fly and have holes in the top of their heads through which they fire beams of energy.
And, really, that’s all there is to the story. The two characters play similarly, but I prefer Benten. She moves faster. Idaten has a more stiff movement and starts with a lower firing speed.
The game has six stages, each split into four segments with a mini boss at the end of each. The bosses have set attack patterns and weaknesses. For instance, the first Stage 1 mid-boss’s weakness is high on the dome of the ship. The ship flashes when it takes damage, so you know you’re hitting the right place. The longer you shoot at that spot, the more the dome cracks and breaks, revealing the creepy humanoid face inside.
The basic gameplay is much like other shooters (think Gradius, R-Type, games like that) where you fly about the screen firing at enemies. The play alternates between left to right and up to down. However your character’s basic shot only fires to the right.
Bigger enemies drop circular pickups called protein that power up your shot up to ten levels. Holding down the shoot button and then releasing it fires a charged shot that differs between characters. (Idaten’s is a big blast like a Kamehameha Wave and Benten’s is three shots, forward and angled up and down.) Well-timed charged shots are really the trick to beating the bosses. There are also a limited number of bombs that you can use to destroy enemies in a small radius around you. More can be picked up as you go.
Occasionally you come across companions floating in the stage. (They’re called “options”.) Running into them makes them join you. The most common options are Adon and Samson, who float above or below you and fire from the holes in the top of their heads. Firing a charged shot also makes them fire a bigger beam. You can have both of them at the same time, and let me tell you, you can do some damage then.
Other options are Uminin, who is a weird blue alien-looking creature (which I’ve seen described as both paper or a condom, depending on where I looked), and Cherub, a little angel. You can have combinations of them at once, but I’ve only had two so far. (I’m not sure if you can have more than two.) The options can also pick up protein, which powers them up like your player character. They have five power-up levels.
The major draw to this game are the bizarre visuals, music, and sound effects. The game delights in the weird and never lets up. This game is so bizarre and wonderful. It took me awhile to get into the groove and find my rhythm, but I find myself getting a little further each time I play.
Graphics: The graphics are excellent… alternately striking and grotesque. They do a lot with what they have, creating the look of the world perfectly. It’s campy and serious at the same time.
Music and SFX: The music is incredible. It’s weird, angelic, tense, silly… all of these things and more. The sound effects mesh well too— the shooting, explosions, the little cry of pain Benten makes when she dies. (Idaten is silent when he dies… I guess it’s not manly to cry out?) They both shout “Power up!” when you grab protein. If one of the brothers die, they groan “Aniki!”
Gameplay: This is very much a skill-driven game. You have to react quickly and protect yourself to build up your protein levels and keep your companions in order to do the most damage. Repetition helps, because you learn where the next threat is coming from and how to deal with each stage’s boss.
Challenge: This game is challenging even on Easy mode. You die in one hit, so the game is not very forgiving. You have three lives and I haven’t seen a way to add more. I’m hoping that continuing keeps you on the same stage… I haven’t gotten past Stage 1 yet, so continuing just brings me back to the beginning of the game so far. I do get better the more I play, though, so that’s encouraging.
Thoughts: This game is so much fun and it’s incredibly weird, which is something that keeps me coming back. I want to see what else is waiting for me when I finally get to Stage 2 and beyond. I am determined to win this game and I promise an update when I finally do.
Update: Shortly after posting this I managed to get to Stage 2 and it’s full of giant flying chess pieces, hands with angel wings, and a space fish. I somehow blasted through that and made it to Stage 3 which is populated with cyborg monstrosities. I’m actually getting good at this game!
Ai Cho Aniki (translates as either Love Super Big Brother or Super Big Brother of Love) was released in 1995 for the Super CD-ROM² System by Nippon Computer Systems. This is a direct sequel dealing with the aftermath of the epic battle against Emperor Botei-biru.
After the Emperor’s defeat, Idaten and Benten are hailed as heroes. Adon and Samson are adapting to peace by gardening. (Using the holes in their heads as pots, naturally.) Unfortunately, Botei-biru’s wife Empress Bo Tei Conscious (a pun on “body conscious”) has reformed the Builder Army to get revenge on the heroes.
The Empress captures Idaten. This leaves Adon and Samson to be the heroes this time, with assistance from Benten. There is also a new threat in the form of Emperor SuTeiRoid (a play on the word steroid) but none of the synopses I can find are very clear on who he is or how he comes in. Watching the opening cinematic, I got the impression that Idaten was corrupted, so it’s possible he’s the new Emperor? Some of the synopses I’ve found mentions Idaten eloping with Bo Tei while others say he was kidnapped. I don’t know, let’s just shoot things with our speedo guys, okay?
This game plays much like the previous one, except this time you pilot Adon and Samson. Also they have three hit points instead of dying after one hit. When one falls, the other pops up to take his place like a tag team. The game works on a timer system instead of lives. Each time you die, you lose one timer icon. Periodically Benten floats through the stage dropping power ups that restore health and timers.
The biggest differences are in the controls. The Aniki fly standing up, so it’s easier for the enemies to hit them. There is a dodge button that makes them spin and gives them temporary invincibility. Also their basic shots are weak and home in on enemies. The real fighting is in button combinations like in traditional fighting games. You also build power towards a huge charge shot called the Men’s Beam.
This game actually has four endings. The one you get depends on the score you achieve during the game, the higher the score, the better the ending. It also only has four stages rather than the previous game’s six. Each stage is split into long sections with a boss at the end of each.
Graphics: The graphics are much like the first game. Adon, Samson, and Benten use different sprites, and so far as I’ve seen most of the enemies are new. The floating green heads make a return from the first game, but this time you can fight them. (In the first game they were just background.)
Music and SFX: The music is cranked up louder than before and is much more energetic. It's not so angelic in this one but is no less hypnotic. The Aniki make anime fighter noises as they perform their moves and flex in space.
Gameplay: The gameplay is very different to reflect the shift from holding down the fire button to combo moves. Well-timed dodging is the key to avoiding the enemies attacks, so you can’t just power through the levels blowing shit up. (Although that is still a tried-and-true tactic.)
Challenge: The challenge is certainly ramped up on this one but that could just be because I’ve grown used to the first game and haven’t learned the combos yet. I need more practice.
Thoughts: This game takes everything about the first game and ramps it up, like any good sequel should. It stays in the same spirit as the first game, but sets itself apart. It’s louder, busier, more chaotic. I’m still learning the combo moves but they really help. (I’ve figured out how to shoot sparkles behind me, and that’s about all I can do consistently.) I doubt you could win the game with just the homing shot and dodge.
I can’t get anywhere near as far on this one, but I’ll get better. I think I’ll focus on the first game and then come back to this one when I’m done with it. The inclusion of combo moves makes the game much more difficult for me, but it’s a clever addition. I also like that there are multiple endings dependent on score. It’s been a very long time since I’ve paid attention to my score on a game and so making it important is an interesting angle to take.
And now I will leave you with a montage of weird moments from what I’ve seen so far in both games.
The Cho Aniki games are an oddity among retro gamers and I am determined to explore them fully… to see what new twisted monstrosities the games throw at me. And above all, to gather enough protein to save the galaxy. I’ve peeked at the later games in the series and the franchise consistently evolves. (The third game is a fighting game and the fifth is an RPG card game!) Every game is different but they all seem to revel in the strangeness of the world they’ve introduced us to.
Cho Aniki and Ai Cho Aniki are proudly unique and a lot of fun to play and watch. The games look and sound like a fever dream, but play like a competent shooter. They stand out among the other games of the genre simply because they dare to be different. The games are trippy and fun… hypnotic almost. The insane visuals combine with the angelic music to create a freaky atmosphere that is all its own. Add in the fact that you never know what the game’s going to throw at you next… could be a giant grinning head floating in space, could be angels wearing diapers, vehicles with twisted human faces, or just muscle-bound speedo guys who can fly. This is the world of Cho Aniki, and there is really nothing else like it.
Thank you for joining me in this weird voyage into space with the Super Big Brothers. I hope you enjoyed our little jaunt. And thank you for joining me on this unofficial video game week. I promised you more content, and will deliver even more before the year is up. I appreciate you all and until next time, keep gathering that protein and flexing like everyone is watching.