049: SoraRabbit Spotlight: The Underground Super Express Goes West

Welcome back to the SoraRabbit Spotlight! Although this isn’t technically a Thanksgiving post, I am putting it up on Thanksgiving, so the themes of gratitude are forefront on my mind, and I’ll be touching on that a bit here.

I love Thanksgiving. Not for what its original intention and history was, of course, but for what it’s become— a reason for family to get together, eat good food, and practice gratitude. Plus, I love cooking big feasts… it makes me feel useful and like I’m taking good care of those I love. (That’s especially important now that I work my “day job” on second shift and can now only cook decent meals on the weekends. I miss cooking for my people.) My tradition for Thanksgiving is to spend the day preparing the meal and playing video games. (So far today that’s consisted of Mario Kart 64 and a whole lot of Animal Crossing.) Then over food and pie, Cocoa, Sora Junior, and I will all sit around and watch movies. (Typically Mystery Science Theater 3000, but not always. This year we’re planning on watching The Black Hole and Cowboy Bebop: The Movie.)

Anyway, all that really has nothing to do with this post, which is my third (and barring any special requests, final) deep dive look at an Ultra Q episode!

A sleek machine. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

This post will be an in depth look at Ultra Q Episode 10: The Underground Super Express Goes West. As with my other Spotlight posts, I won’t be going into depth about the plot and characters. If you want more explanation, you can check out my full post on the Ultra Q series. In brief, Ultra Q is an anthology series where a reporter and two pilots find themselves in wild circumstances due to the imbalance humanity has put on nature. I have covered two other (very odd) episodes of this usually serious series: Grow Up! Little Turtle and Kanegon’s Cocoon. (Side note, as I mentioned in my last Spotlight post, those two were originally titled SoraRabbit Watches, but are now retroactively considered part of the Spotllight series.)

I did talk about this episode a bit in my full series post… especially regarding the ambiguous ending. Still, I finally decided to go back and revisit it as a Spotlight. I had several reasons for this… partly it was just to get a quick and easy post out since my YouTube planning and research has made it difficult lately for me to keep to any sort of schedule with my blog. Also, since I did two very much atypical episodes of the series, I figured I should finish it as a trilogy and do a more typical episode. (But no less strange.)

Fair request. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

As the episode begins, we start with two boys running a shoe shine stand at a train station. The main boy is Weasel (He’s only ever referred to as Weasel in the subtitles, but the wiki says his name is Itachi… which is the Japanese word for weasel.) His assistant is a younger boy named Chibi. Weasel is disrespectful and price gouges his customers. Yuri (the reporter main character) approaches for a shine and we learn that Weasel knows her. She’s afraid that if nearby people hear him call her a “chick” they’ll think she’s “easy”. (Ah, 60s mentality.) He instead calls her a young woman, which embarrasses her more.

Weasel is a charmer. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Weasel realizes that Yuri is there to report on the Super Express. This is where the narrator breaks in, explaining that the Inazuma— the world’s last and fastest Super Express— is nearly completed. It moves at speeds of up to 450 km per hour and can take its route in 3 hours. The speed test is open to the media.

We then see people plotting to find their way on board. Of course Weasel is one of them. There’s also a kid who works at a diner and his customer, who’s another of the main characters, Ippei. Our friend Ippei plans to use Yuri to get aboard. The narrator goes on to state that it only takes 15 minutes for the train to reach its top speed and that “this incident” takes place within that time. After that not-so-subtle foreshadowing, the opening credits play with the cheerful Ultra Q theme song.

After this, the media and the viewers are treated to a tour of the train station by a man whose job and name are not clearly stated in the episode. At first I thought he was just a tour guide, and the Ultra Q Wiki seems to corroborate that, but he mentions in the tour that he can take over control of the train from the console. This throws doubt onto the theory, because what kind of tour guide would have that sort of administrative access to the train’s operations? He’s not the conductor either, since we see the conductor later in the episode. Is he some sort of official with the transportation department? A manager? The… train… boss? Do trains have bosses? I have no idea, and the episode does not endeavor to answer any of my burning questions.

The train boss tour guide explains that the train travels mostly underground and is perfectly safe. He makes it very clear that he has very little idea of what he’s talking about, correcting himself often and misnaming the components of the train. He’s pompous and clueless. So, basically, just the sort of guy you’d want in charge of your prototype experimental machine.

After this sequence we get to see Weasel and his buddy’s brilliant plan to sneak aboard.

Anyone would be fooled by this disguise. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Yes, that’s right. They’re doing the “two kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult” routine. And it’s utterly amazing to me that they went there. Almost as soon as they set foot in the station, a stewardess accidentally trips them and they fall on the floor, crying. (Somehow they managed to stay in disguise, though.) After recovering, they waltz right past a throng of journalists, none of whom look twice at them. Even though the fellow is about ten feet tall and clearly two children stacked on top of each other. It’s fantastic, it really is, and it’s the sort of thing you don’t see enough of in present day media. (Not counting the great running gag on Bojack Horseman of Vincent Adultman who works at the Business Factory.)

What a coincidence… that’s how people describe me, too. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

We cut to a man signing for his case to travel to Osaka by jet. The man is not named, but is a scientist of some sort. The one in white who’s talking with him is Jun, the third main character.

The scientist fellow explains that the suitcase contains an experimental lifeform created by science that they call M1. It’s unstable and has been placed in a tiny high-pressure cylinder. If it is ever removed from the cylinder, cell division starts and it grows very quickly. (I’m sure you can see where this is going… ) No one knows what it will look like when it grows and its IQ is nearly on par with a human’s. He jokes that if the cylinder were to become damaged, the lifeform could get angry. (I don’t think that joke was quite translated right. I know it’s supposed to be a joke because both men laugh.) As they’re inspecting the case, they realize that it had somehow been switched with one that contains candy and photography equipment. Oops. Ippei has grabbed the wrong case. Classic Ippei.

I’ve missed Ippei. He’s an awkward goof. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Ippei manages to rush aboard the train just before it departs, simply saying that he’s a photographer. He doesn’t have to show credentials or a ticket or anything. Actually the stewardess doesn’t seem to care who he is or why he’s there. This explains how it was so easy for a ten foot tall not-kid to wander aboard without anyone questioning him. Who’s in charge of the security around here? I think we all know the answer to that question.

Mister Director Tour Guide. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Yup. The guide manager guy. He is staying in the station to monitor the train’s journey, which is totally something a tour guide would do. He explains that after departure, the train’s AI takes over. Who’s he explaining this to? Us, I guess. The camera pans back and we can see no one is in front of him, and he was speaking right to the camera. Weird. Sometimes this show is so weird. I love it, though.

What were they even trying to accomplish with this plan? (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

In their cabin, the kids have removed their disguise but then have to hastily put it back on (in sped up fast motion) when a stewardess knocks on the cabin door to inform them that they’re at top speed. Here we get to see the other kid is not Chibi. I guess he didn’t get to go on this adventure. The second kid is the boy from the diner, and Weasel refers to him as Hechima.

This can’t possibly go wrong. (Arrested Development Narrator voice: “It went wrong.”) (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Ippei sits in a cabin with Yuri, who’s surprised to see him. They soon discover the mix up with the case moments before train workers burst into the cabin and confiscate the case. The scientist, off camera, presumably notified the conductor director guy and he ordered that it be secured. They’re about to put the cylinder into a safe when another reporter, Kawada, decides to take a picture. Yuri tried to warn him, but he stupidly does it anyway, using his flash. He tries to get Yuri to take one too, but she refuses, not wanting to ruin someone’s research. (Yuri is a journalist with morals!)

Trains have guards? (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

As the train voyage continues, we see the cylinder inside the safe flashing with an eerie light. The guide manager has lunch. The trench coat kids are discovered by a train worker and Weasel gets away, as Hechima is nabbed. (Note that for some reason Hechima was the top kid in this scene. I guess he got tired of carrying Weasel around?)

I don’t think ninjas loudly announce their stealth, Weasel. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Weasel hides in the room with the safe, which we soon learn is in the conductor’s car. I’m sure that won’t cause any problems soon…

M1 is a handsome boy. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Yup, as anticipated, M1 has escaped the safe and reached full size. I have no idea how he opened it from the inside. He leaves inky footprints and seems baffled by all the human contraptions around him. The conductor is shocked to encounter him and faints. M1 twists the dials for no reason. The manager guy is concerned because the conductor isn’t answering. (Seriously who is this guy? It’s like the unnamed country from King Kong Escapes and it’s driving me crazy. I assumed he was the conductor up until this point of the episode.) Whoever he is, he decides to switch control to manual, which is his first and only good decision of the episode.

Hey, stop it. He’s sensitive. Besides, I just said he’s handsome. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Switching to manual, of course, doesn’t work. M1 is sitting at the controls, happily pressing buttons and making horrible noises. Weasel mistakes him for a weird-looking robot which is a very odd assumption considering the creature looks like an ape and is covered with hair. I would have thought Sasquatch before robot. (Maybe Japan had just gotten the 1953 film Robot Monster around this time? That movie featured an ape-like robot with a space helmet.)

I don’t think the director-guide realizes what show he’s in. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Anyway, there’s no hope for manual control. M1 has taken over the train, broken the AI, and messed with the brakes. Not bad for a newborn. He’s having a great old time, dancing around and screwing with things.

Ippei’s reaction says horrified, while Yuri only looks mildly concerned. Very mildly. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Due to M1’s interference, the train’s speed is wavering, reaching 600 km/h. (I though its top speed was 450? Whatever.) The workers decide to detach the passenger cars, which will save but passengers, but cause the train to run wild. They go for it, hoping to stop the engine later. They send the Inazuma 2 to fetch the passengers, which is new information. Apparently they built a second one of these trains? (Or at least the engine.)

Bye Weasel. We won’t miss you. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Weasel realizes he’s stranded and calls out for help. The train continues to race along, the brakes unresponsive. It’s heading for a buffer stop at 600 km/h and the boss man says there’s an 80% chance they don’t have anything to worry about. (More proof he’s completely full of it.)

No one cares about poor M1. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Jun and the scientist are with the train director administrative tour guide boss trying to determine how to save the child. (I assume by this time Hechima must have told them where Weasel was.) Mr. Guide Boss is more worried about the 8.07 billion yen the train cost than the child who’s trapped aboard. (That’s nearly 70 billion USD in today’s currency, which is quite pricy for a train as far as I know. Which isn’t very far, honestly.) The scientist takes a more humanitarian stance, stating that they need to save the kid and he can just make another monster.

I wonder if M1 feels left out. No one’s trying to help him survive. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

They call Weasel on the radio, informing him that he has one minute before they crash. (Lord, what a grim call to make.) They ask him if there’s anywhere safe to hide. The guide conductor calls too, presumably so lost in his own world that he didn’t notice they’d already contacted him a few feet away. But M1 answers the phone, babbling into it.

I don’t think this scene was ever meant to be paused. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

As they emerge above ground, M1 is riding the train like a horsey and I have no freaking idea why he’s doing that but it’s hilarious. I mean, I’d probably do the same thing if I was about to crash. Why not?

It wouldn’t be an Ultra episode without explosions. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

The train not only crashes through the buffer stop, but the station and the fuel tanks, causing everything to blow up. It keeps right on going, nothing slowing its progress. At this moment the manager guide remembers the safe, which is heat and shock resistant. (This guy is worthless.)

The train then sails off into space and they’re not clear on exactly how this happened. I guess it hit a ramp? Do train tracks typically end in ramps? If not, maybe they should. It seems like a fun way to end a train voyage. Weasel clearly thought of the safe too, because it’s floating in space and he opens it (which explains how M1 got out… I guess this safe has a handle on the inside?). Poor young Weasel stares out into the cold vacuum of space, not freezing or suffocating or dying from the intense pressure. And if you thought that was the highest point of the episode’s silliness, you’re mistaken. Weasel sees M1 floating in space. The kaiju says his only line. “I am Seagull. I am Seagull.”

First and last words. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Yes, apparently he can talk. Which means he really is intelligent, probably intelligent enough to know that fucking with the train’s controls was a bad idea, but he did it anyway. He orbits the Earth, presumably forever. He can survive in space, so there’s no reason to think he died up there. And we don’t cut back to the other characters planning a daring rescue of our good pal Weasel. Did they ever save Weasel and M1? The episode ends there, so we can only speculate.

You’re wasting your breath, Jun. (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

And that’s the Underground Super Express Goes West! It may not be quite as surreal and crazy as the other two Ultra Q episodes I’ve reviewed, but I still wanted to share it with you all. It was one of the episodes that always stuck out to me, especially due to that strange and dark unresolved ending.

This was a weird, silly episode. If you don’t think about it too much, it’s fun, but scrutiny makes it fall apart. As was often the case with the show, the limited time frame caused them to rush through some important things like characterization, motivations, and the ending. (You know, unimportant details.) Due to this, we don’t really know why the kids were so desperate to be on board (they like trains a whole lot?) or why the tour guide had full access to the train’s operations and yet had no name or title. We also must assume that the whole reason they created M1 in the first place was the endless burning drive for science to create problems for the characters to solve. (Seriously, looking back at these shows, much of the plot is “Oops, scientists messed shit up again and we’re all doomed now”.)

Ultra Q often had some comic relief, but it was used heavily in this episode, from the slapstick actions of the kids to the characterization of the clueless director or whatever the hell he was. I’m assuming the comedy was used to counterbalance the terror of the train going out of control and the dark ending in the cold void of space.

The main characters all appeared, but like in a handful of other episodes, they weren’t really instrumental in stopping the disaster. Technically, Ippei caused the whole mess through his carelessness in grabbing the wrong case. The kaiju is not threatening or scary. He’s really more like a child than anything, playing with buttons and levers to disastrous results.

As for why M1 said that strange Seagull line, I was very much puzzled by this in both my viewings. I had to do a bunch of digging to try and figure it out. I could not find anything verifying it for sure, but some rudimentary research showed it could have been a reference to The Seagull, an 1896 play by Anton Chekov where a woman compares herself to a seagull that another character shot. That theory didn’t really make sense aside from the fact that the episode had a tragic ending like the play.

After more research, I found a theory that “I am Seagull” is a reference to Russian cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova, who has the distinction of being the first woman in space. Her call sign was “Seagull” and when she radioed back to Earth, she began her transmission with “It is I, Seagull. Everything is fine.” Considering that M1’s subtitles capitalized “Seagull” and this space flight took place in 1963, three years before this episode aired, this theory seems pretty likely to me. So does this mean M1 is female? Or is he considering himself the first kaiju in space? (Some of them come from space, so this wouldn’t be very accurate.) Or is it just a silly way of ending the episode by M1 referencing a famous cosmonaut and saying everything is fine when it clearly is not?

Regardless of why it said those chilling last words, M1 and Weasel are doomed to float in space until someone saves them or they die. Considering everyone was all more excited about a train that could go really fast than the more significant story of a science-created lifeform, I have no confidence that they will bother to save poor M1. I just want to remind you that this is an intelligent, self-aware life form, remaining fully conscious as it floats along in space forever. And a child who need oxygen to live. Yeah… I don’t think we can count this among the happy endings of the series.

And legends say M1 is still up there to this very day… (Credit: Tsuburaya Productions)

Thank you for reading my latest visit to the classic tokusatsu series Ultra Q. I hope you enjoyed the tragic tale of Weasel and M1. I also hope you all have a happy holiday season. Make sure to carve out some time to think on those things you are thankful for. We all need those sorts of positive energies in our lives. I try to be thankful year-round, but it’s good to have a day set aside to remember it. I am very much grateful for my family. My fun diversions that give flavor to life, such as Ultra Q and joking about television episodes. I am grateful to have this blog as a creative outlet and to all of you for continuing to read it. Whether this is your first post or your 49th, I appreciate all of you.

Make sure you take a moment to appreciate the things that you’re thankful for, regardless of the day. The reasons for gratitude differ from person to person, but I think we can all be grateful for one thing… We’re not silly-looking genetic experiments orbiting the cold vacuum of space for all time.