077: The Ewok Duology Part 2 — The SoraRabbit Hole

Welcome back to the second (and final part) of our in-depth Ewok coverage! Last time we revisited the first movie in the duology, Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure.

076: The Ewok Duology Part 1

This time we’re going through the sequel. Also, I just noticed as I was working on this post that I, again, accidentally lined up three Star Wars-related posts in a row, just as I did back when I did the Star Wars Holiday Special post. (Before these two Ewok posts, I covered The Clone Wars Season Three.) So now we’re obligated to close this trilogy of posts out with a bang, Ewok-style.

Just like in the first post we’re going to preserve the sense of wonder and confusion we had while watching. We will not call things or people by their names until the movie bothers to name them or we give in and look something up. So with that said, let’s get going!

The little beasties are back. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Just like last time, without looking anything up about the movie, here are our preliminary thoughts.

SoraRabbit’s Thoughts: “I remember this one even less than I remembered the first one, although they’ve always sorta blurred together in my memory. I think the girl’s a teenager in this one and lives with the oatmeal guy and that’s all I remember. Oh, and there was a battle for Endor. That was kind of a big thing.“

Cocoashade’s Thoughts: “I remember the parents are dead, which is probably why I thought they died in the first one. The brother too? I don’t remember for sure. I remember there was this weird little white dude and I don’t know what that was about. I think I only watched this one once. I’m excited, though.“

Sora: “Me too, let’s begin our next epic Ewok adventure!“

Ewoks: The Battle for Endor was released in 1985 on television as a direct sequel to the first movie. George Lucas was less involved in the making of this one, but did contribute ideas, the basic story, and editing. As you’ll soon see, this movie immediately renders the happy ending of the preceding film moot. And, just like with the first one, Disney+ labelled this movie as “Vintage Star Wars”. Rude.

The movie started with the opening credits and nothing else happening.

Sora: “Back when they used to make you sit through the entire credits before they even started the movie. So boring. That’s one thing they do right nowadays, putting all the credits at the end. Oh, whoa. The giant from Twin Peaks is in this?!“

Cocoa: “Wow cool. Oh, and the dad’s that one guy from Breakfast Club.“

Sora: “Not the same dad, huh?“

Cindel and Wicket walk around and right away we notice two things. For one, Cindel is only about a year older. And also Wicket is talking in complete sentences now.

Sora: “Oh, I really thought Cindel was played by someone else and was a teenager. Shows what an impact this one left on me. And why did they feel the need to have Wicket talk so much?“

Cocoa: “Dammit Wicket, you’re freaking me out. Ewoks shouldn’t talk. It’s weird.“

Sora: “At least they fixed his mouth. Still wrong, though.“

Hey look, pirates or something. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Pirates attack the village. Just like in the first movie, it’s still not in the trees.

Cocoa: “Their village is on the ground again.“

Sora: “This wouldn’t have happened if they still lived in the treehouses.“

The kids get knocked down by a weird alien. Wicket runs off to help his people and Cindel looks for her mom. When she gets to the village, her mom is already dead and lying on the ground. Mace is shooting at pirates. He tells Cindel to find their dad. She runs and then her Fitbit alerts her that Mace has died too. (He’s blown up by an exploding hut.)

Blurrgs are majestic creatures. (Credit: LucasFilm)

The pirate-things are capturing Ewoks. They ride big lizard-things called Blurrgs.

Cocoa: “Are those the lizard things the Stormtroopers ride in the first movie?“

Sora: “No, those were Dewbacks and they had four legs. These things are the ones from the Mandalorian and they have two legs. And lil’ stumpy arms!“

Cocoa: “Wait, they were on the Mandalorian?“

Sora: “Yeah, remember the Ugnaught Kuiil in Season One? He had a ranch with these things and taught Mando how to ride them. Blurrgs are canon now.“

What the hell are these things, anyway? (Credit: LucasFilm)

Cocoa: “What the hell are these aliens anyway?“

Sora: “Uh, space pirates I think. I don’t think this is a race we’ve seen before in Star Wars.“

Cindel’s dad is still at the ship and is approached by the villains of the movie.

The villains are a big space monkey-type guy (played by Carel Struycken, although at this point we've already forgotten we saw his name in the credits and didn’t realize it was him) and a middle-aged witch lady wearing feather-adorned armor with carefully defined boobs. We had nothing to say about either of them.

The villains interrogate the dad about some sort of “power” and take the ship’s battery or fuel cell or something. They leave it vague throughout the movie. (At one point they call it a crystal.) Cindel reaches the ship, the dad is shot in the back, and he runs off with his daughter. The witch lady plays with her decoder ring and turns into a crow.

Cocoa: “This is the wrong system. You know? Like you have a wicked witch type and she’s wandered onto the wrong soundstage. She’s supposed to be in a fantasy movie, not sci fi. They wouldn’t do this on Star Wars. Also, it’s a very orphan-maker Christmas. Tragedy for the holidays.“

Sora: “Oh yeah, this was supposed to be the Christmas one, wasn’t it? I really thought I remembered it being Christmas-themed.”

Cocoa: “I think it just came out around the holidays.“

Sora: “Merry Space Christmas kids. Where’s your Life Day now?!“

Cocoa: “Ohh nooo! Why would you say that?“

We then spend some time debating if the girl is played by the same actor. Cocoa looked it up and saw that it is. She also saw that plot-wise only six months had passed.

Sora: “Now that’s a huge gap in my memory. I was so sure she was a teenager in this one and played by someone much older. Like she escaped from a space orphanage and came back to Endor. Weird. I wonder why I remember it that way?“

He tells her to run and find Deej. (Wicket’s dad. They don’t really explain who he is in this movie so it would have been confusing without the context of the first one.) She runs away and he dies in a shoot out with the pirates. Cindel doesn’t get far before the Crow Woman grabs her. She’s put in a cage with the Ewoks.

The Blurrgs set off, dragging the cage with an alien pirate guy riding on its back. The effects are all jerky and wonderfully silly.

Sora: “Oh man, these Blurrg effects are top-notch. I miss stop motion.“

Cocoa: “Stop motion was cool. Look at that guy bounce around on the lizard!“

Sora: “That can’t be a smooth ride.“

This time it's a caravan... of TERROR! (Credit: LucasFilm)

As the bad guys walk on, Cindel is reunited with Wicket and the other Ewoks in the cage. They stage a daring escape by breaking a plank off the bottom of the cage. But it’s too big for most of them to get out.

Sora: “They don’t even think about breaking another plank.”

Cocoa: “Shove Wicket in there!“

They drop Cindel and Wicket through. They get up and walk away.

Cocoa: <Laughs.> “They’re just gonna drop them to the ground under the carriage to get stepped on by the lizards.“

Sora: “This is a great plan. And the pirates don’t even notice. Oh, now they did. Run kids!“

Two of the pirates give chase, shooting at the kids as they run. Suddenly Cindel and Wicket are a mile up on a mountain ledge.

Cocoa: “What the fuck?“

Sora: “I have no idea how they got way up there so fast.“

So many people fall to their deaths in these movies. (Credit: LucasFilm)

The pirates are suddenly up on the cliff too and keep shooting, knocking down rocks.

Sora: “I think they reused the rock falling effect from the first movie. Cheap!“

The guards hit too many rocks and they fall to their deaths. The kids are trapped in a cave.

I'm sure they'll be safe in this cliffside cave. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Sora: “Okay, this is actually a pretty cool visual. This’ll have to be a screenshot.”

This doesn't seem safe. (Credit: LucasFilm)

The pair stare down a gulf with no way down.

Sora: “Wow they’re really screwed now. Quite the escape.“

Cocoa: “I bet Wicket learned to talk so they wouldn’t need a narrator anymore.“

Sora: “They probably fired him since he wasn’t doing much. I bet they saved $50 by eliminating the narrator. Those Blurrg effects probably weren’t cheap back then.“

Wicket knows the importance of loot. (Credit: LucasFilm)

They find discarded bones and equipment.

Sora: “Yes! Loot the room! Wicket knows what’s up! Cindel looks confused though.”

I love their reactions. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Their reactions to the bones are very different.

Sora: <Laughs and rewinds to watch again.> “She’s so baffled by that bone!“

Cocoa: “Yeah, remember it’s been six months since the first movie. She’s really late for school.“

Sora: “Space school.“

Cocoa: “She never learned what bones were. Poor kid.“

Wicket uses the bones and other loot to make a hang glider.

Sora: “He made a bone glider. This is full circle! In the first movie he wanted to ride on the hang glider but his dad made him stay behind.“

Cocoa: “Uh, is that a campfire made a bones?“

Sora: “Yes. Ewoks are very resourceful.”

Wicket finds another bone and is really excited.

Sora: “He sure loves his bones.“

Cocoa: “Throw another bone on the fire.“

Endor has dragons now. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Grabbing the bone alerts a monster, which attacks. It looks just as fantastic as the Blurrgs.

Cocoa: “Is that a pterodactyl dragon?“

Sora: “Wicket is taking over Mace’s role of getting into trouble wherever they go.“

Cindel throws fire at the monster. It grabs her and carries her off.

Sora: “Why’s it leaving? Isn’t that its cave?“

Wicket quickly follows on his hang glider and a chase ensues.

Sora: “Look at that bone glider go!“

Wicket didn't think this through. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Wicket drops a rock on the monster’s head and it drops Cindel. The special effects are… special.

Sora: <Laughs.>

Cocoa: <Laughs.>

After a lot of laughter and rewinding to rewatch the sequence a couple of times, we pause and talk about special effects.

Cocoa: “I do love the special effects we grew up with. Forced perspective, big puppets, claymation… no, stop motion I mean. Like Clash of the Titans. There was just something special about it all.“

Sora: “Yeah. It’s so good. I love practical effects. You just can’t get this kind of campy fun quality with CGI. Unless it’s bad CGI like some of those Rifftrax we watch.“

Cocoa: “It was what we had. It didn’t even matter that it looked fake. We had an active suspension of disbelief.“

Sora: “Well, we had to work for it. Special effects have advanced to the point that they look real. We don’t have to use our imaginations as much with CGI.“

Cocoa: “We’re old.“

Sora: “Vintage.“

The bone glider goes down. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Wicket saves Cindel and they immediately crash.

Sora: “Any landing you can walk away from.“

Cocoa: “Ewok CRASH.“

Sora: <Whining.> “When are we gonna get to the battle for Endor?“

Wicket's a big ol' teddy bear. (Credit: LucasFilm)

They run in the woods away from the dragon bird. Then it flies away and they sleep in the hollow of a tree.

Sora: “All the trees on Endor are either hollow or filled with Muppets.“

They’re awakened by a new arrival.

Sora: “Someone’s stealing their shit.“

Cocoa: “Wilford Brimley?“

Sora: “No, it’s a different hairy white guy.“

A weird white creature zips around super fast, throwing things at them, giggling, and flirting with Cindel.

Cocoa: “Ew..“

Sora: “So inappropriate.“

Wicket wants to murder him but Cindel says he could be useful.

Sora: “It’s like an RPG. He’s joining their party.”

She sends him out to find food. Again the movie doesn’t care about telling us people’s names and we didn’t want to keep calling him the “white guy”.

Sora: <Checking my phone.> “The internet says his name is Teek.“

Cocoa: “That’s not what Wicket called him. He called him ‘Yurdle‘.“

Sora: “I think they said that in the first one too. It’s obviously an Ewok slur.“

They follow Teek for long time as he runs super sped-up. He leads them to a house. It’s full of junk, which Wicket loves. He digs around under the bed and finds a cone that he wears as a hat. Cindel suggests they clean the house up and then it could be their house.

Sora: “I’m sure no one lives here already.“

Cocoa: “Did you forget about all the other Ewoks that were captured? And your entire family who died?“

Sora: “Just like in the first movie, her short attention span doesn’t allow her to grieve. It’s a blessing.“

As they sit down to eat, a stranger enters the house to threatening music.

Cocoa: “Santa?“

Sora: “A wild Wilford Brimley appears!“

Cocoa: “Does he have a beard on top of his beard?“

It’s his house and he’s not happy about them being there. He bitches at Teek and kicks them out. (He does name the creature, so we do know for sure his name is Teek.)

He sure likes "muffins". (Credit: LucasFilm)

Wilford vents about how he doesn’t trust people and he’s lonely.

Cocoa: “Wow, Santa sure changed after the Clone Wars.“

He makes Teek some food, complaining more.

Sora: “I guess they’re room mates? Is he making oatmeal?“

The old man warns Teek to not give the kids any food. Especially not the muffins.

Sora: “Yeah, you feed them they’ll never go away. Also he keeps calling them muffins, but they’re clearly biscuits.“

Outside, Wicket makes a fire and burns his butt because you have to have some slapstick. Wilford dumps water on the fire, putting it out. He yells at them saying they’ll burn the place down. He brings them inside and says fires belong in the fireplace so they might as well stay the night. Cindel asks his name and he says it’s Noa, so we can’t call him Wilford or Santa anymore. All settled in, they go to sleep.

Sora: “Is she feeling any trauma at all over the brutal and sudden loss of her family?“

Cocoa: “She cried that one time.“

As if on cue, she has a very graphic nightmare that the grotesque pirates are breaking into the house and attacking her. She runs to the bed to wake Noa and the pirate king is there instead. She screams loudly enough to wake herself and the rest of the household up. Noa hugs her and gives her his bed— Wicket too.

Sora: “He sure didn’t stay crotchety for long.“

Cocoa: “I told you, he’s Santa.“

The dread Castle Evil. (Credit: LucasFilm)

In the morning Noa acts grumpy again. Wicket is whittling on the front porch. Noa says that Cindel and him have to get going. Wicket shrugs and goes back to whittling.

Sora: “He should react to everything Noa says like that.“

When Cindel comes out, Wicket reminds her that his family needs him.

Cocoa: “I hate to bring this up, but my family’s in danger.“

Sora: “Yeah because he’s still got one.”

Cocoa: “Ohhhh. Now you sound like me.“

We Lucas-wipe to the evil castle.

The Crow Witch is trying to do magic on the power cell. We learn that they’re looking for “the power” from some space prophecy or something. (Or maybe someone just told them about it? It’s written very strangely.) The pirate is angry that she can’t access the power and throws a little fit. He demands they find the child. She must know how to work it.

Even grumpy old space hermits love pie. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Back at Santa Noa’s place, he comes home and wonders where the kids are. Teek indicates that they’re gone and Noa pretends to be relieved but obviously isn’t because his character development is in fast forward. He also mentions that he made them beds even though he kept telling them to leave.

Sora: “They didn’t even really try to make him a grumpy old man who gradually comes to care for the kids. Such lazy writing.“

The kids rush in proudly holding sprigs of berries with flowers on them. Cindel suggests they make a pie.

Cocoa: “What? I thought you were out saving Wicket’s family!“

Sora: “Well, they were, but then they found these space berries and you know… pie.“

Cocoa: “I guess pie’s more important.“

Sora: “The Ewoks would understand.“

They make a crazy number of pies and gorge themselves. Then they go to bed. Noa tucks them in, thanks them for the pie, and warns Teek to not eat the rest of it. The next day he gives them a list of chores to do before he gets home and puts Teek in charge of watching them. The very second he leaves, Cindel decides to follow him. Wicket puts up a weak argument and follows her. Teek just watches them leave.

Cocoa: “Teek, you had one job!“

Sora: “He shouldn’t leave Teek in charge. I’m amazed he hasn’t burned down the house.“

They’re really bad at tailing him but somehow manage to stay out of sight.

Sora: “This is silly. They’re about ten feet behind him.”

Cocoa: “He should be able to hear them from that distance.“

Sora: “I’m sure he’s just distracted. He’s late for work or something.“

They find that he’s walked to a downed spaceship. Wicket does the “star cruiser CRASH” thing again and then is caught in a trap that hangs him by his leg. Noa yells at him saying that not even Teek is allowed here.

Sora: “He just called Noa a ‘yurdle’.“

Cocoa: “Wicket’s swearing again. I think that’s Wicket for ‘asshole’. Or maybe ‘white furry bastard‘.“

He explains that when he was younger, him and his friend Salek were on a mission and got stuck on Endor when their ship’s power crystal broke.

Sora: “A mission?“

Cocoa: “They were space cruising for women.“

Salek went off to find a new one and never came back. And now Noa realizes that he never will.

Sora: “Oh! I see where this is going! Has his friend become the evil pirate king?“

Cocoa: “I don’t think so. But maybe?“

Back at home they play music and Wicket dances. He knocks something off the stove that flies around the room because, again, slapstick. While they party, the crow peeks in the window, sinisterly. Cindel sits on Noa’s lap.

Aww, she's processing her grief. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Sora: “Santa, all I want for Life Day is my parents and maybe brother to be alive again.”

She says that she understand how he feels about his friend because her family’s dead too.

Sora: “She’s feeling her emotions! Character growth!“

Cocoa: “They died like three days ago. When is she gonna get over it?“

Cindel sings a song that her mom used to sing to her about a star.

Sora: <Imitating Noa’s voice.> “That was awful kid.“

Cocoa: “BOOOO!“

This movie is all over the place. (Credit: LucasFilm)

The next morning Cindel wakes up to hear her mom calling her name. Obviously it’s a Crow Woman trap.

Sora: “Wait, did anyone ever say the witch’s name? I just have her as Crow Woman in my notes.“

Cocoa: “I think it’s Charo or Sharo or something.“

Sora: “Eh, I’ll just keep calling her Crow Woman.“

Wicket wakes Noa and says Cindel is gone and there’s danger.

Cocoa: “His Ewok senses are tingling?“

Walking through the woods, Cindel comes across a blonde woman in a robe and a white horse.

Sora: “The hell?“

Cocoa: “Wrong system.“

Sora: “This is weird, even for this movie.“

Cocoa: “It’s Galadriel.“

Surprising no one, the robe woman turns back into Crow Woman and abducts the little girl.

I really should get a grappling hook. They always come in handy. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Noa returns to his hut and grabs a blaster. Wicket finds a grappling hook.

Sora: “It’s like Gravity Falls. That thing’s gonna be crucial later— I guarantee it.“

He's not the baddest villain, but he's what we've got. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Crow Woman takes Cindel to the pirate king and he tells her to explain how to use the power. She wants to know what he’s done with the Ewoks. He swears they’re his guests and he won’t hurt them. She says she can’t make the power cell work and he says she can, giving her a deadline until dawn. He also takes Crow Woman’s magic ring because he’s mad at her. I’m not sure why, since she did kidnap Cindel like he asked.

YES, another walking montage. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Meanwhile, Wicket, Noa, and Teek walk towards the castle. (I guess following the horse’s trail? They don’t explain.) Teek runs really fast back and forth and runs into a tree. Neither of us laugh or even acknowledge it.

Cocoa: “So the Blurrgs are in this, is this one canon or no?“

Sora: “Very much a no on that. Blurrgs are canon, all this other stuff is not.”

Cocoa: “Dammit. Wilford Brimley is not part of the Star Wars universe.“

Sora: “Not yet anyway. Maybe he’ll show up in a comic book where they explain what his mission was.“

While the others are heading to the castle, Cindel and Crow Woman have been thrown in Ewok jail. Crow Woman demands Cindel show how to use the power. Cindel says that it’s just a part of the star cruiser. Crow Woman replies yes, it’s the power of the stars. It’s what Salek was looking for. She points at another cell and Cindel sees there’s a skeleton chained up in there.

Well this movie now has one more skeleton than I'm used to seeing in a kid's show. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Sora: “OH!“

Cocoa: “Damn!“

Crow Woman explains that Terak (so now we finally have the pirate king’s name!) killed Salek for the power. Cindel lets slip that there’s another ship.

The heroes finally reach the castle and it’s surrounded by a moat. Wicket is just about to dive in and swim but Noa shows him there are unseen creatures in there that would eat him.

Cocoa: “Wicket, didn’t you learn anything from the magic pond in Part 1?“

Sora: “Wicket learned nothing. According to the narrator, none of them did.”

Editing Note: Plus they all got reunited just in time to die. Part 1 really doesn’t matter much when you think about it. Except they killed the ogre. Heck, the ogre might have been the only thing keeping the pirates from attacking the Ewoks before. They may have ruined the food chain of Endor in the first film.

After a bunch of stuff that was honestly too boring (and dimly-lit) to get screenshots of, they use the grappling hook to get up to the castle wall and kill a guard by tying the rope to his leg and knocking him into the water. This pulls Noa up.

Cocoa: “Oh! Wicket just murdered that guy. That was full intent.“

Sora: “I told you, Murderbears.“

This looks like a real rager. Now I wanna be a pirate. (Credit: LucasFilm)

The pirates are partying and it’s pretty lame.

Sora: “This ain’t no Jabba’s palace, that’s for sure.“

Teek runs and grabs a big cloak or tarp or something, bringing it back for them.

Sora: “Oh shit. Are they gonna do the three guys in a trench coat thing?”

They did the three guys in a trench coat thing. Even though it looks stupid, the pirates are too drunk to notice.

All card games should end this way. (Credit: LucasFilm)

In the next room, two pirates are playing space poker. Noa sends Teek to get their keys.

Sora: “Teek is his answer for everything.“

Cocoa: “They’re playing Sabacc.“

Cindel sees him and shouts “TEEK!“

Sora: <Snorts.> “Dumbass.“

Somehow the guards are not alerted by this. Teek slips a card up one of the player’s sleeves to make him look like a cheater.

Sora: “That’s actually pretty clever.“

The card falls out, the other player gets mad and they shoot each other.

Cocoa: “Dunno who shot first. Don’t care.“

Editing Note: It was the non-cheating player.

The Ewoks go wild. Wicket sets Cindel and the Ewoks free. Crow Woman almost convinces Wicket to set her free too, but Cindel stops him, saying she’s evil. The good guys flee.

Sora: “This is their whole civilization? I thought there were way more Ewoks than this.“

Cocoa: “These are just the ones that got caught.”

Sora: “Ohh. The other ones were in the trees where they belong.“

Cocoa: “Yeah. These are just generic Ewoks.“

Noa sets off a bomb to blow a hole in the wall and uses the grappling hook so they can escape. The Ewoks walk in the hallway and runs into pirates. Wicket is shocked.

Sora: “You open your mouth any wider Wicket and we’ll see Warwick.”

Editing Note: Wait a minute. Zoom in… brighten… enhance…

Oh. Oh no...

This looks like fun. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Wicket and his dad, Deej, hold off the pirates using blasters.

Cocoa: “How are the Ewoks better shots than the Stormtroopers?“

Sora: “Imagine if the Rebels had given them blasters at the Battle of Endor.“

The Ewoks slowly escape out of the makeshift window.

Oh look the power thing. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Cindel tells Noa that his friend is dead, taking the time to point out his bones. She says he died for the “power thing“.

Cocoa: “The power thing?“

Sora: “The power thing!“

Noa grabs it, the Crow Woman shouting at him that it belongs to her. They get out too, followed by Wicket and Deej.

Sora: “For a second there I thought they were gonna kill off Deej like they did Axe-Guy.“

Cocoa: “One orphan is enough.“

Form of... space crow. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Terak is pissed that his pirates all lost to a handful of Ewoks, a Wilford Brimley, and his pet white guy. He almost has Crow Woman killed but then she mentions that there’s another ship. This info saves her life.

Sora: “We only have 27 minutes left and they haven’t even started battling for Endor yet.“

Crow Woman turns into a crow and Terak takes the ring back, trapping her in crow form. (Forever?) She flies off after them.

That's a lot of alien guys. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Terak puts the ring around his neck, arms his men, and prepares for battle. Turns out he has an entire army of men, not just the handful we’ve seen. They chase the Ewoks across the countryside.

Cocoa: “This is the story of the teddy bear’s picnic.“

Sora: “And the pirates.“

Cocoa: “Really, I think they are marauders.“

Sora: “Oh, point. Pirates are usually on the water. Or in space. Whatever they are, the army really underlines how few Ewoks there are.“

Cocoa: “Yeah, sheesh, I see what you’re saying. There’s only like ten of them now.“

Sora: “Where’s Wicket’s mom? And the baby? Did they die in the opening attack?“

Cocoa: “Maybe he moved out? Or they went back up in the trees?“

Sora: “They don’t have the budget for trees. That’s film money. They only have TV money.“

There's a lot of tooting in this movie. (Credit: LucasFilm)

The woods slow the marauders down and the good guys get to Noa’s ship. Noa tries to get the ship started while Wicket is in charge of leading the Ewoks in holding off the marauders.

Cocoa: “She showed more emotion in the ship not starting then she did when her mom died.“

Sora: “Our patience has been rewarded. They’re finally having a Battle For Endor.“

Cocoa: “Is it really FOR Endor though? Or is it another battle ON Endor?“

Sora: “Yeah, for real. They’re not actually fighting over Endor, they’re fighting over a really old spaceship. Lower stakes than I expected.“

While we’re talking, Deej almost gets strangled and shot.

Sora: “Wow they really want to kill him off, don’t they? This movie hates parents.“

The Ewoks start their battle and it’s a lot like the climactic battle in Return of the Jedi. They roll logs, swing on vines, and generally use jungle warfare. Some Ewoks use guns and catapults. Deej sets fire to a Blurrg to cause a stampede. (Every time the Blurrgs show up, we both stop what we’re doing and laugh.)

Cocoa: “I’m impressed with how the Ewoks move in these costumes. It can’t be easy in that terrain.“

Sora: “Yeah, they’re skilled. Way better than the guy who wore the ALF suit.”

Cocoa: “There was an ALF suit?“

Sora: “In some episodes. It looked silly. He wouldn’t last two minutes on Endor.“

As the fighting continues, Noa finally gets the ship running. He takes a cannon turret and puts some Ewoks on the other turret. They open fire, blasting the marauders. While they’re doing this, other Ewoks fling bombs with their catapult.

At one point an Ewok gets thrown by the catapult. I have no idea why. It was all chaos.

Sora: “Where did they get bombs? And was that catapult just lying around or did they build it for this battle?“

Cocoa: “I don’t know where the Ewoks get their shit. They’re fierce little bastards. They seem all playful but you get on their land and they murder you. They’re way better than those damn Gungeons.“

Sora: “That’s a video game. You’re thinking of Gungans.“

Cocoa: “Oh yeah. Stupid Gungans. The Ewoks would win.“

Sora: <Thinks a little too long about this.> “Yes. Yes they would.“

While running from marauders, Wicket is caught in another snare trap. Deej pops up and blasts them, cutting Wicket down. Cindel saw all this on the ship’s monitor and runs out to see him. Seconds later, she’s captured by Terak. He demands the power for her life.

Noa hands it over and as soon as he lets go of Cindel, he starts beating the marauder boss with his walking stick.

Sora: “Wow, Noa’s got some fancy stick moves.“

Cocoa: “Someone trained with the Tusken Raiders.“

Sora: “Or that Chirrut guy from Rogue One.“

Poor guy. All he wanted was the power thing. (Credit: LucasFilm)

They fight like this for awhile, sword to stick. Terak knocks him down and before he can deliver the killing blow, Teek jumps at him, getting flung aside and injured in the process. Wicket slingshots a stone into the ring, which starts glowing and turns Terak to stone for some reason.

Sora: “Ooooh, cool.“

Cocoa: “Wicket, what did you DO?!“

Sora: “What he does best— fuck things up.“

A touching farewell. (Credit: LucasFilm)

We jump to a rushed ending where Noa says goodbye to the Ewoks and Teek, saying that he’ll miss them.

Cocoa: “Aww, you guys saved Life Day!“

An even more touching farewell. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Cindel says goodbye to Wicket and cries, promising to visit them again.

Sora: “Now she cries!“

Cocoa: “I would too. She should stay with the Ewoks and have more adventures.“

The ship takes off and flies away, destination unknown. Wicket and Teek chase after it, saying goodbye and waving. End credits roll.

Sora: “So I guess Noa adopted her?“

Cocoa: “She said she’d come back. Now they need to do a third movie where she finally comes back and has a daughter who can have adventures with the Ewoks.“

Sora: “And, as is customary in an Ewok movie, Cindel will die in the opening scene. And the cycle begins anew!“

They put the "special" in special effects. (Credit: LucasFilm)

SoraRabbit’s Thoughts: “That one was weird. Not bad, though. It had a drastically different feel from the first one. There was a little more to the story, what with the space prophecy that they never elaborated on, the army of marauders that had never been mentioned before, and the grumpy old hermit with a troubled past. I feel like Noa’s characterization was sloppy— they rushed him from loner grump to kindly old grampa. It could have been done way better. The little girl was a way better actor in this one and we didn’t have to deal with Mace. The Crow Woman just stayed as a crow I guess. And are all the other marauders dead? So much wasn’t explained.

“My biggest complaint was in the Ewoks themselves. Did most of their population die in the six months preceding the events of this film? And why did they make Wicket talk so much? I seriously don’t think that was necessary. I feel like they lost some of the spirit of the first movie, getting bogged down in the plot. But I do love how they undermined the happy ending of the first movie by unceremoniously killing off Cindel’s whole family right at the start. And Noa’s friend was a moldering skeleton. And Terak was cooked alive and turned to stone. Prime 80’s kids show stuff here.“

He gots a little hat. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Cocoashade’s Thougts: “Oh, where do I begin? I can almost see why this one wasn’t as memorable as a kid. You’re looking for more space elements, but they went more into a fantasy system with this one. You go from space to fantasy and it’s all watered down. It had a touch of Willow in it— the witch, the castle, Warwick Davis. Even with the Jedi you don’t see this much magic. The only thing that makes it feel like Star Wars is the Ewok fight at the end. Noa sounded like a Minnesotan or something. Cranky grampa-type. I love that the Ewoks were on their shit. Like, they made all the difference in Return of the Jedi and watching the last 20 minutes of this makes me want to go back and watch Jedi again. I don’t like that Wicket looked like a puppet while talking. Some of my childhood memories came back, but it wasn’t memorable.“

Sora: “Still, it had its moments.“

Cocoa: “Yeah, like you did mention how Wicket was like, we gotta go save my family… “

Sora: “Let’s make PIES!“

Cocoa: <Laughs.> “The best part is that Mace was dead.“

Alas poor... that guy. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Sora: “Oh, also RIP this guy. We never knew him.”

Cocoa: “This was a lot of fun. We should do this again sometime.“

Sora: “I have some ideas on how we can make this a semi-regular feature.“

Cocoa: “I’d like that. I still have a lot of movies I need to show you.“

Sora: “Like Time Bandits?“

Cocoa: “YES! And Beast Master.“

Sora: “It’s a date.“

Just a bunch of generic Ewoks. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Legacy: Although there were only two films in the Ewok series, that wasn’t all there was of the franchise. Between the two movies, the Ewoks got their own cartoon that ran for 26 episodes. This cartoon expanded on Wicket’s family and served as a prequel to these movies and Return of the Jedi. For the first season it was paired with the cartoon Droids, which only ran for 13 episodes. (That one was all about the non-canon adventures of C-3PO and R2-D2 before the first Star Wars movie.) The Ewok cartoon had a tie-in comic book made by Marvel which lasted for 14 issues. (The Droids comic lasted for 8 issues.)

Poor Paploo. (Credit: Marvel Comics, Writer: Alyssa Wong. Art: Kyle Hotz & Rachelle Rosenberg)

While ultimately stripped from canon after Disney purchased Star Wars and killed the Expanded Universe, some elements of the Ewok movies have slowly started reappearing. The Gorax appeared in the cartoon Star Wars: Forces of Destiny. He also appeared in a story told by the Ewok Paploo in the Marvel Return of the Jedi: Ewoks comic book one-shot.

Blurrgs appeared both in The Clone Wars series and in live action in The Mandalorian. Seeing as how elements from the Star Wars Holiday Special (Life Day, Chewie’s family) have been referenced in recent material, I would assume more aspects of these movies will be re-canonized. The most likely place will be in the upcoming Ewok limited series from Marvel. I assume if anything else makes it into canon, it’ll be Wicket’s family.

Also, according to some sources, the Crow Woman (who was apparently named Charel) was a Nightsister? I can’t confirm this for sure, though. I’m pretty sure Nightsisters didn’t exist until Clone Wars, but I’m admittedly not up on my Legends canon. They easily could have shown up in the books somewhere.

Ewoks are surprisingly good with guns. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Originally the concept was for a half hour special, but ABC demanded a movie of the week, so the first one was expanded. They also tried to make it into a pilot for an ongoing series, but Lucas shot that idea down. There were plans for a third movie, but it would have cost more to make than Lucas was willing to spend. So we were left with an awkward two movie series, one that was mostly forgotten in the cobwebs of time, but still talked about in some circles of the Star Wars fandom.

And so, with that, our voyage through the legendary Ewok Duology comes to an end. Looking back, the two movies ended up somewhat forgettable except to people who grew up with them or those who stumbled upon them later. I’m hoping that these posts do their part to bring more attention to these old relics of a bygone era where everyone was desperate to expand the Star Wars mythos in the most commercial ways possible, yet still tell a good story doing it. These vintage Star Wars side stories ultimately didn’t add much to the universe of Star Wars but serve as enjoyable little diversions that strive to expand on the culture and characters of the Ewoks.

For Cocoa and I, these movies gave us a lot of laughs, some good conversations, a bit of nostalgia, and more proof that not everything is just as we remember them. It’s nice to look back over the expanse of the years and revisit things that meant a lot to you when you were younger, to view them with more mature eyes, and allow yourself to laugh at how silly it all was and how seriously we took it at the time.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… If the SoraRabbit Hole has a thesis statement, it’s that you never know what can bring you joy until you give it the time and attention it deserves. I am very grateful that Cocoa asked for these posts and sat down with me to help write them. Because of the two evenings we spent on these movies, I will look back at them with much more fondness than I even had for them as a child as I sat with my brother and watched the Ewok’s adventures unfold on the small screen. These two movies brought us some more unexpected joy, and for that, they’re absolutely worth it and I’m happy they exist.

An actual shot of Ewoks running away from our commentary. (Credit: LucasFilm)

Thank you for joining me and my incredible cohost in looking back on these relics of the 80s. We seriously had so much fun putting these together for you all and I hope you all enjoyed the posts as much as we did. While our Ewok adventure is over, Cocoa and I will return further down the trail to look back on other movies with our unique filters, and I hope you join us for those. If you have any suggestions for what we can watch and laugh at, please drop them in the comments or on social media. I appreciate you all and will see you soon!

Hi.

Sep 16 077: The Ewok Duology Part 2

Hi.

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