085: SoraRabbit Does a Christmas Special: Triple Feature 2024

And here we are at the main event, 2024’s big Christmas post! A few years ago I started this format and it’s working out well for me. Each year I look at three (or more) Christmas specials or other properties and analyze them to the point the creators never intended! It’s fun. I won’t link all my previous Christmas posts here, since there’s an ever-increasing number of them, but here’s the previous entries in this series:

This is actually the third Christmas post I’ve put out this year. The first was a look at the second For Better or For Worse Christmas special. (That one included commercials!) And the second post was a retrospective of the other three lesser-known Charlie Brown Christmas specials. (Yes, there were three more! Of varying quality!)

What a bewildered Santa. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

In my planning notebook I have several years worth of Christmas material, and the trick is narrowing down which I want to tackle each year, as well as what theme to go for. This year I decided to go with three sitcom Christmas episodes.

I went over this on the first linked post, but there is a difference between Christmas specials and Christmas episodes. A Christmas special is generally a stand-alone story. A Christmas episode is one that airs as a part of an ongoing series but just happens to take place on, and involve, Christmas. These typically air near the end of December and are heavily mired in the imagery and sentiments of the holiday. For all that, they are basically another episode of the series and in most cases, fit into the timeline and overarching story.

All three of the shows I am talking about in this post are Christmas episodes and they follow a theme. We’re going to look at one traditional Christmas, one nontraditional Christmas, and one totally off-the-wall. I will look at how each work as a Christmas episode of an ongoing series. Bonus points if Santa is real in a world that contains no other form of magic or supernatural occurrences. We love that phenomenon around here.

Got it? Good. Let’s look at our first episode.

Growing Pains: A Christmas Story (Season 1, Episode 12) This special episode originally aired on ABC in December of 1985. The show had 7 seasons, with a total of 166 episodes and two reunion television movies. It tells the story of the Seaver family and is a typical kids-friendly 80s sitcom with a laugh track.

I haven’t seen Growing Pains since I was a kid. It was one of the many sitcoms I used to watch every week. I’m not even sure why. I don’t recall particularly enjoying it. I honestly think I just watched whatever happened to be on. I don’t have any fond memories of the show although it— along with many others— were a part of my childhood. But one of my decisions while coming up with this annual recurring concept was to incorporate shows I hadn’t seen in decades… as was the case with Punky Brewster in the first post. So I was a bit excited to be revisiting this old show this year. This is our “traditional” Christmas, so let’s check it out.

Odd aesthetic choice for the opening. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

The opening credits feel like they were shooting for Cheers… the feel-good theme song with vintage drawings of happy families.

“Why don’t they look?“ (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

The episode starts off with the daughter Carol setting up a nativity scene. She's unable to find the wise men, and we see her older brother Mike has set them on the train tracks. (They have a train circling the Christmas tree, presumably just for this gag.) Somewhere the baby Jesus is weeping.

Yes, please let’s pull the plug on this bit. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Before they get run over, the dad of the family, Jason, pulls the plug and rescues them. Mike sings a dopey song about how much the wise men love hanging out with him and the canned laughter goes wild.

The Seaver family. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

The youngest kid, Ben, comes in and says that he was told everyone's Christmas Eve present would have a big red bow on it and he's not seeing one for him. The family is being all coy and cutesy about the missing present and I was just confused. Mike tells the common yet tasteless joke that it's because Ben is adopted. Carol says Mike is adopted and Jason adds in, "Not yet." At this point in the show all I could think about was how lame this all was.

But on the bright side there's at least a lot of Christmas already. The nativity, the tree, the presents. Mom (Maggie) is stringing popcorn to hang on the tree. The stage has been set and one of the recurring themes is in place. Ben makes it pretty clear that he doesn't believe in Santa Claus anymore and leaves the room to get some cookies and give them time to get his present under the tree. Once he's gone we learn that they're picking up his present soon and everyone knows he's going to be super excited about whatever it is. Obviously we’re all on the edges of our respective seats.

Ah, sitcom flirting. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

The parents flirt, Maggie asking about her present and Jason asking if she's been nice or naughty. She says she's been "nice and naughty". Jason's response is, "Santa likes it when you talk like that." The odd choice is that Mike just laughs at this where in most sitcoms the kids would be embarrassed or react with exaggerated disgust.

Also, I would like to add that their fourth kid wasn’t conceived until sometime in the third season, so the gift couldn’t have been that good.

Santa’s here. And he used the front door. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

They notice it's snowing and Mike says Christmas and hanging out as a family is "neat". Everyone is shocked that he's not being obnoxious. He opens the door and a balding, confused-looking Santa is standing there. Mike identifies him right away as one of Jason's patients. His name is Walter Bodewell and he's the main focus of the episode.

I recognized Walt from a guest appearance on an episode of Cheers. But, of course, I could say that for a lot of people in sitcoms of this era.

Santa visits his shrink. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Walt is supposed to be playing Santa at the orphanage, but he's too nervous. He can't say "ho ho ho" right and worries that the kids will all hate him and he'll make them uncomfortable like he makes everyone else. Dr. Jason tries to encourage him, saying that he's lonely and they're lonely so he should just be himself. Walt is a socially-awkward accountant and has a whole speech written out to read to the kids and announce his presents. Jason tells him he needs to be less formal.

Jason then looks at Walt's ideas for gifts. Ground beef, Tupperware, no third thing. Jason suggests he should bring them toys, which blows Walter's mind.

Ben rediscovers Christmas. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

The next scene is pretty dull. Jason and Maggie head out to pick up Ben's present and he sees right through them. They tell him his present is between him and Santa and Ben says he's "getting tired of that particular folk hero". Once they're gone he tries to get info out of his brother and sister and even tries to bribe them but they won't tell. Ben's character was odd, like he was crafted as precocious but they still wanted him to be the cute kid.

Walt comes back in a panic, upset that Jason's out. After getting rid of him, the older kids go upstairs and Ben hears something on the roof. He asks who's there and a mysterious voice calls back, "Who d'ya think?" A Santa hat drops down the chimney and he rediscovers his childlike sense of wonder only not really. It's Walter and he's about to kill himself in his psychologist's chimney. Whee!

Give the gift of processed meats this holiday season. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Note that Ben was conveniently out of the room for Walt’s previous two appearances. Walter says he doesn't want the kid to see this. Ben, not catching on to what's about to happen, tells Santa he can just drop his present down. Walter throws down the raw hamburger. The canned laughter really digs that gag.

What a thoughtful Santa. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Mike and Carol come back with treats and eggnog and ask Ben what he's doing. He explains there's someone up there and tells Santa to drop down presents for his siblings. Walter drops down the Tupperware. The fake audience, predictably, loves this as much as the meat joke. I’m beginning to question the fake audience’s taste. He tries to make them leave so he can jump headfirst down the chimney.

Santa contemplates his final fate. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Mike suggests they should call the cops, which worries Walter. There's a couple more attempts at jokes and Carol tells them to "keep him talking". Ben replies, "Even after he jumps?" and this got the first genuine laugh out of me for the whole episode to this point. Mike suggests Walter come down and have some eggnog. Walter: "I'm about to kill myself and you're offering me eggnog?" Mike: "Well, it says here, festive for all occasions!" Ben's attempt to talk him down: "I know you're not Santa but thanks for the meat. I know I'll use it for years to come." Walter announces that Ben's lying-- the truth is he hates him, everyone hates him. Carol reads to him from one of her dad's textbooks, which bores both him and me. She asks him not to jump.

And a little technical side note… unless they had this lying around somewhere in the studio from a different show, they actually built a chimney and portion of the roof for this scene. Just think about that. Knowing they’d likely never show the Seaver roof again— or have any reason to, unless they came up with another suicide subplot or some wacky misadventure where they have to adjust the antenna for the big game or something. They built a chimney and a rooftop set just for a portion of this one episode. I rarely think about the technical stuff that goes into making a TV show, but this just struck me as going the extra mile. They even hung lights and little icicles up there.

Things get wackier! (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Jason and Maggie return and find out what’s going on. Jason drops the present and rushes outside. Note that Jason doesn’t set Ben’s present down carefully… he practically drops it and there’s a sound as it hits the floor. I’ll get back to this soon.

Jason climbs up onto the roof and nearly falls several times. He asks what’s going on and why isn’t he at the orphanage?

I guess this is the Santa version of “Kick Me”. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Walter is using a tape measure to make sure he doesn't get stuck. He explains that the kids hated him and points to the sign on his back. While Jason has him talking, Maggie calls the police and they don't believe her. That part really went nowhere. Some more stuff happens on the roof that was pretty dull and repetitive. Walt tears off his costume, ripping apart the white fur and padding. Jason nearly falls again and nothing he says gets through to Walter. Keep on working, lean on others, blah blah blah.

A true Three Stooges homage. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Walter tries to dive down the chimney and Jason loses it, stripping off his own coat and saying it's a good idea, he's going to jump first. I guess he's trying reverse psychology, but it just comes across as a trained psychologist throwing a little fit. He says since he's been trying unsuccessfully to help Walter for four years, he can't live with his death on his conscience. Walter says that he can't jump, he has a wife and children. Jason: "Well, their Christmas is pretty much shot as it is." I would think seeing his doctor losing his shit would drive Walter even further to the edge, but whatever. They try to dive in the chimney at the same time and they get stuck like a Three Stooges bit. Walter tells Jason to stop whining, it's really pathetic. But it's not him, it's Ben's present.

Oh look, a puppy in a box. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Yup. it’s the present with the red bow that they’ve been all cagey about all episode. They got Ben a cute, adorable little puppy dog. So, yeah, remember when I said Jason didn’t set the present down gently? No wonder the puppy wanted out of there.

Pupper knocks over the present and wanders out. Ben sees him, scoops him up and rolls around with him on the fireplace, letting the puppy lick his face.

Talking Santa down. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Walter is amazed that Jason bought a puppy for his kid. Jason says he's been asking for one for years. Walt asks him what kind of puppy it is. "Brown!" Ben yells back, and yeah, I admit I chuckled at that one. Walt says he used to have a German Shepherd and he was the only one who didnt get uncomfortable around him. They used to play ball together. He died 17 years ago and Walt's been alone ever since. Ben asks if he's still going to kill himself and Walt says he doesn't know. Ben tells him that if he doesn't, he can have his puppy. He stops answering and they're all worried until Walter and Jason come back into the house.

Aww, a happy ending. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

True to his word, Ben hands over the puppy and says Merry Christmas to him. Awwww.

Did Ben just have that elf costume lying around? (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Abrupt scene change and Ben comes downstairs with Walter. Ben is dressed as an elf for some reason and Walt is back as Santa Claus. I'm not sure how he managed this since he ripped his costume apart and left it on the roof. Jason probably had his own costume. Whatever the reason, they've dressed up to hand out the red-bow presents. Mike gets a family heirloom, which is a nightie. Carol gets a razor. They give the impression these were mixed up, but whether it was a mistake or as a joke, the parents are not betraying anything with their mildly amused expressions. Although there is no follow-through on this gag, the fake audience is still eating this crap up.

At least he looks happy. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Jason gets a "most improved cook" hat. He offers to make Christmas dinner and everyone quickly says no. I guess the joke here is that he's terrible at cooking.

What’s more romantic than toast? (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Carol's "exciting and romantic" gift that was teased earlier is a toaster. But just kidding, inside it is a box with a pearl necklace in it. Seems a lot like something my dad would come up with. It kind of sounds like Jason is trying to adlib something here about them being fake, but they cut away before he finishes the joke.

There was another pupper! (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Walt realizes there's no present for Ben and offers to give Nick back to him. I guess he already named the puppy between scenes. (I’m assuming Nick as in Saint Nick.) Ben says no, Nick is his dog now. They all tell Walt several times to check the Santa bag and lo and behold, there's a second puppy in there, identical to the first one. Ben says she's beautiful and he's gonna name her Walter.

Serious question, though, where did the second puppy come from? Did they buy a spare in case the first one didn’t make it through the night? That’s a little dark, even for me. Why weren’t they in the same box? Or were they and this one just overslept? Or was she knocked out when Jason dropped the box? It’s so weird. I seriously doubt they ran out to get another puppy without anyone in the family noticing and also after sunset on Christmas Eve. This meant there was always a second puppy. Little unexplained details like that nag at me on sitcoms.

The Seavers, Santa Walt, and two puppies. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

The family, the puppies, and Walter all crowd together for a final parting shot, every one of them flooded with Christmas spirit or something like that.

Sense of wonder restored? (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

In the episode’s endcap, Ben and Walter the puppy leave cookies and milk out for Santa, Ben says he still doesn’t believe, but it’s "just in case". Ben hears sleigh bells and an unseen Santa says "Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!" Freeze frame on Ben's shocked face. Childlike wonder restored, everyone gets a puppy, no one died, end of episode.

That puppy has no idea what’s going on. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

Thoughts: This was not nearly as bad as I expected it to be. It told a story and they did just fine in getting the character's personalities and roles in the family across. Although I did used to watch the show quite a bit when I was younger, all I remembered from it was that the dad was a psychologist who worked from home. Nothing else remained in my aging brain over all these years. I didn’t even remember who played the kids. But at no time in this viewing was I lost. It was very new viewer-friendly.

There were some creative camera angles, which surprised me. Usually in this sort of a sitcom you see two or sometimes three camera angles, mostly seeing the set from the same direction. This one had some top-down angled shots, a shot from inside the fireplace, and showed the living room from several vantage points. And I already talked about how impressed I was that there was a full roof set constructed for this.

As for the story, it had its moments, but it was lacking. The plot turn where Ben offered a neurotic stranger his puppy that he had supposedly wanted for years seemed unearned and out of character. I guess it was to show how much he valued life and has concern for his fellow man, but come on. How many kids would do that? Without hesitation, no take-backsies. I really figured that when Walt offered the puppy back, Ben would jump at the chance. In fact, giving the puppy back would only make for a more satisfying conclusion to Walter’s arc. He didn’t need an excuse to live, it’s inside him after all and he can put a kid’s happiness above his own.

While we're on the subject, Ben's character was all over the place. I know they were going for precocious beyond his years, but he would also slip into more childlike behavior and then back to being mature again. They didn't know what they wanted Ben to be, which I've found is often a problem with the younger siblings on sitcoms. They always wanted a cute little kid, but the writers had no idea what to do with them. (Like Brian on ALF, who didn't even show up on some episodes and on many others would sit staring blankly at the camera with no lines.)

Good things-- It did stay focused. There was no filler, no fluff. This entire episode hinged on Christmas and didn't stray from that premise. Also, they showed a gift exchange, which is something the Peanuts specials never did. The Seavers had their own tradition, leaving a present with a red bow on it to open on Christmas Eve. I thought this was a nice touch, showing how this particular family celebrates their holiday. The show was easier to get through than my brush with Punky Brewster two years ago. Growing Pains was bland, corny, aggressively inoffensive and edgeless. But for all that it was somewhat charming. Even with the dark premise, they maintained their optimism and light tone.

One fun fact I uncovered in my research is that after this episode, Walter the dog is never shown or referenced again. I guess Ben is really, really bad at taking care of puppies. No wonder they got two. The implications here are quite dark. Or maybe... maybe he gave Puppy Walt to Human Walt so that Puppy Nick would have a sister? Yeah... yeah let's go with that. It's better than the alternative.

How well did this episode encapsulate Christmas and work as our traditional holiday? Pretty well, I think. Sure, there was a bit more suicidal talk than I would expect in a Christmas episode, but it fit… I mean, as unfortunate as it is, it’s a fact that the holidays are a big time for depression and suicidal thoughts. And come to think of it, ALF’s special Christmas also featured a suicidal Santa Claus. Coincidence? Or subtle homage to this classic holiday episode that everyone absolutely remembers?

And, finally, let’s look closer at the concept of Santa. What does that ending mean? Does Santa exist in the Growing Pains world or was that Jason, climbing back up on the roof in the middle of the night to restore his youngest son’s wonder in the magic of Christmas? Honestly, either option would be plausible, judging by what we saw of the Seaver family in this episode. I doubt Jason went up there, considering how he nearly fell several times. And how would he know that Ben would sneak out to the fireplace right at that particular moment? He’d have to have hanging out up there for several minutes to an hour or two. Besides, it didn’t sound like Jason. He did his Santa voice earlier for Walt. No, I think the implication here is that that was the real, actual, non-suicidal Santa Claus. So I suppose Growing Pains gets the bonus point. Santa is real, let us never speak of Santa again. Next episode is the annual family bowling night and magic has no place there.

Title (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Married With Children: You Better Watch Out (Season 2, Episode 13) aired on Fox in December of 1987. It ran for 11 seasons with 259 episodes total. This show was basically the “anti-sitcom”, trying to encapsulate the opposite of the typical sitcom fare you would see on television around the time. It depicts the Bundys, a family of lowlife but lovable losers living in Chicago.

Married With Children is another show that I watched faithfully every week, but unlike Growing Pains, I do have fond memories of this show. It was subversive. It was adult. It was funny. I loved this show, and still do, although I can freely admit, as with many of the things I grew up with, it did not age well. (Hell, I may not have aged well myself!) It’s one of those time capsules that show us a glimpse of what humor was like at the time it was released but under no circumstances could it be attempted today in our modern comedic landscape and sensibilities. (I guess we’ll find out, if the long teased animation revival ever happens…)

Disclaimer. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

I don’t really have to do content warnings with this, but in general Married With Children does delve into topics and humor that are not for everyone. While this episode in particular is pretty tame by today’s standards— it was released in a pre-South Park world, after all— it is a huge jump in shock comedy and dark humor from the kinds of mild sensibilities we saw in Growing Pains. It goes without saying that this episode best represents our nontraditional category. (Although the next show has a bit of that too.)

What do you suppose Buck spent that money on? (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

The opening was pretty much the same through the full run of the show. Al sits with a defeated look on his face as he hands money out to everyone, including the dog.

The Bundy kids. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

The episode starts with the kids, Bud and Kelly, watching TV. A commercial is playing for the Lakeside Mall. There's a bar in the mall where you can meet "Santa's very special reindeer, Donna". Bud is excited by this because he's an incurable horndog.

Al with his “box of crap”. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

The dad, Al, comes up the stairs lugging a box labelled "Xmas Stuff" and complaining about getting a hernia. Bud asks if they can go to the mall. There's some of that familiar banter the show is known for where Bud implies that Kelly is promiscuous and Kelly that Bud is a horny creep. Al tells Bud to apologize to his sister. He says no and Al shrugs.

Al gives a lecture. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Kelly also asks to go to the mall and Al refuses, saying that it's taking all the business from the mall that he works at. If it keeps up, they'll be living in a cardboard box. Bud says he and Kelly won't have to worry about that, they'll be in a nice, warm foster home. Al says that the mall is full of gaudy, cheap stuff that only low-class shoppers would want.

Before she was Leela. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Cue his wife Peggy coming in the door carrying bags from the Lakeside mall, singing its jingle. ("Santa Claus is coming... to the Lakeside Mall!")

Al has the best expressions. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Al tries his argument with her that the new mall is driving them to the poor house. She replays Bud's joke saying that she can always remarry. The kids and Peggy are planning to head back to the mall and Al says, "Before you go, can you bring old dad his shotgun and stand close together?" So, yeah, so far this Christmas episode is filled with insults, concerns of bankruptcy, and casual death threats. Ho ho ho.

Peggy says that she only goes to that mall because it's closer and better than his mall. They have little elves that help you with your packages and a real reindeer for the kids to ride. Although it might be dying, so they need to hurry. Oh, and also Santa will be skydiving into the mall at five o'clock.

You know, I’ve never had fruitcake. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Al tells his family that shopping and mall Santas are not what Christmas is all about. It’s about family and giving. The box he carried in earlier is all the crap his family gave them last year so it’s time to wrap it up for Peggy’s family this year. All except Aunt Poo’s fruitcake. Everyone in the family already got that and he punted it around the house last year. He decides to give it to their neighbors, Steve and Marcy.

Al plans the Christmas festivities. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

He asks if they’ve picked out a tree yet. The joke here is that they wait until one of their neighbors throws out their tree after Christmas and bring it home.

They never do end up leaving the house. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Al’s tired from all the Christmas planning, so he sits down. They all butter him up so he’ll give them presents. He tells them that he’s going to go pick up his Christmas bonus and go shopping. Even though it’s Christmas Eve, the stores at his mall will be empty.

As soon as he leaves, Peggy gets going on his present. The joke on this part is that they take a tie and shirt from his closet and wrap them up for him.

Why don’t I ever have wacky neighbors? (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

A delivery guy comes to the door with a basket for the Rhoades and Peggy lies and accepts it. She also refuses to tip him. I didn’t remember this until my second viewing, but Rhoades is Marcy and Steve’s last name. We never get to see what’s in the basket because it never comes up again, but Al does hide it before the actual Rhoades show up.

Al comes back without presents and says business was so bad because of the new mall that he didn't get a Christmas bonus this year. No presents for anyone. Everyone is sad. Bud suggests they go to the Lakeside Mall anyway. When Santa jumps from the plane he's going to drop gift certificates. Kelly: "Let's trample the weak and get all we can!"

Al clearly loves his present. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Before they can leave, Steve and Marcy drop by singing carols and bearing gifts for everyone. (From the Lakeside Mall, of course.) Their gift to Al was a donation in his name for the National Organization For Women. He makes a predictably misogynistic joke. Marcy asks for her present and Peggy hands her the stomped fruitcake.

Steve turns on the news to see Santa parachuting into the mall. And here’s how that goes:

Santa? (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Yep, we get a dummy drop. Santa’s chute didn’t open and he blew off course, landing in the Bundy’s backyard. Is Santa okay?

Merry Christmas! (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

He is not.

Marcie’s childhood is over. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

After the commercial break, the coroners are investigating Santa's death. Steve is visibly shaky and getting drunk, while Marcy is freaking out. The Bundys are having pizza and soda. (Well, beer for Al.) Al suggests they make Christmas cookies and Steve calls them ghouls, reminding him there's a splattered Santa all over their yard. Al: "What do you want me to do, Steve, quit eating?" Marcy continues freaking out. Al tells Steve to keep her quiet, they're trying to have a Christmas here.

Mmm, Christmas pizza. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

The coroner comes in to ask them questions. He asks if they knew the deceased and Peggy says she'd read about him in books. He asks if anyone saw him fall and Bud says, "I wish!" The coroner tells Bud not to worry, the real Santa is fine and would never have jumped drunk out of a plane.

As with Walt in the previous episode, I recognized the coroner from an episode of Cheers. I thought he was a cop, but the wiki and IMDB list him as “the Coroner“. I’m not sure why a police coroner came by with no other police officers, but whatever.

Even Buck got a present. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Their dog, Buck, comes in with one of Santa's high tops in his mouth. The coroner says it's evidence, but since it's Christmas, he can keep it. Marcy says Santa is gone and she’ll never enjoy Christmas again. Kelly says she’s in the right place. Peggy tries to cheer her up by saying it could have been worse, he could have landed on the picket fence.

Some Christmases be like this. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

They try to take Santa’s lifeless body out the front door but there’s an excited crowd of kids there who want to see him. The coroner refuses to ruin their innocence, so parks Santa behind the couch. Marcy, freaking out all over again, tries to leave and tells the kids Santa is fine but breaks down. She goes to lay down and the coroner, eating their pizza, says Christmas corpses always get him down.

Al goes out to shoo the kids away, telling them Santa is fine, he’s just bent over in the bathroom after having Mrs. Bundy’s cooking. They throw a snowball at him and refuse to leave until they see Santa. Peggy tells Al he knows what he needs to do.

SANTA AL! (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Al dresses like Santa to appease the kids. He tells them he’s fine, he landed on his belly, ho ho ho. He tells them they’ll all get plenty of presents, except Joey who lit a bag of doody on the Bundy’s porch. Also Santa hates the Lakeside Mall and they should tell their parents. He tells them that he has to get back to the North Pole with Dancer and Prancer and Donald and Goofy. They want to sit on his lap and tell him what they want. He tells them to be quick, Santa’s got hemorrhoids.

Al is as bad a Santa as you would expect. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

The first kid tells him he wants a live horse. Since his mom makes pies for everyone in the neighborhood except the Bundys, Al says he’ll leave the horse under the tree… but if it’s not there in the morning it’s because his mom chased it away and killed it. He tells the next kid to tell his dad to come home around the time the mailman is making a “special delivery” to his mom. His present will be a nice new mommy.

Before he leaves, Santa Al tells the kids to all be nice to the Bundys or they won’t get anything next year. One kid shouts that Santa smells like beer. Al tells him to wait five minutes and he’ll smell like hard liquor.

Santa’s special eggnog. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Back inside, Marcy is feeling better but freaks out again when she sees Al dressed as Santa and drinking beer. She says Santa was better off dead.

Holiday bribe. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

After the Rhoades leave, a rep from the Lakeside Mall comes to bribe them to be quiet, but when he finds out Al already covered for them with the kids, he tears up the check. And he doesn’t have to pay the dead Santa, so he says he’s having the best Christmas.

They finally take the body out. Kelly says it’s been a typical Christmas, but the Santa corpse was a new twist. Peggy: “It’s a Bundy Christmas. And, unfortunately, we’re Bundys.“

Christmas episodes always have happy endings. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

They hear something else fall in the backyard. Al says if it’s dead and has a red nose, they’ll throw it in Steve and Marcy’s yard. It turns out to be the Santa sack full of gift certificates. No one noticed it was stuck in the tree. Christmas is saved! Al says they’re going to the mall, but first a moment of silence for that jolly, flat man. After they leave to spend their gift certificates, we see Buck chewing on Santa’s shoe. The end.

I usually make a ham, but this works too. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Thoughts: I had fun watching this episode. The show is just as subversive and funny as I remember. The cast is great. After so many years of watching Futurama, hearing Leela's voice come from a live human was disorienting. (Katey Sagal is actually in our next selection too! I did not plan that.) Al is the best... Ed O'Neill plays that surly, beaten-down loser so perfectly. It was a bit of a shock to see the kids so young. I remembered that they were fairly young at the start of the series, but my memory has them preserved as their young adult selves. In this, they hadn't yet grown into their later characters. Bud was a bit more reserved and Kelly wasn’t completely dumb yet.

This episode, being early on in the run, was a little dry, a bit clumsy. I recall the show really hitting its stride a few years in, after the characters and their world were more established and the writing more fine-tuned. It was a little strange for them to spend the entire episode talking about going to another location but staying in the living room. I know in some episodes they have different settings, but thinking about it, I recall most episodes being bottle episodes, taking place mainly in the Bundy living room. For its flaws, however, I had a lot of fun revisiting the show and I'm sure some day I'll rewatch it all the way through with Cocoa.

How did this episode handle Christmas? Well, let’s just say it was rude, crude, and very much earned its nontraditional holiday slot in the list. This Christmas episode included lying, stealing, selfishness, thoughtlessness, ill-will towards men, an emotional breakdown, and best of all a drunken, dead Santa. Al showed his (somewhat) kind side by protecting the kids from Santa's corpse, but he did it in his grudging, sarcastic, self-serving way, trying to make things better for the Bundy’s standing in the neighborhood. And also probably broke up a marriage.

Santa, in the Married With Children world, is clearly just a series of guys in suits. There were no hints that he might actually exist, which would have been even more absurdist than this show likes to get. (I think… I mean there are at least two more Christmas episodes in this series… that I remember anyway. Maybe Santa is real in one of them. I know there’s an angel in one but he could be Al’s hallucination.)

Title (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Futurama: Xmas Story (Season 2, Episode 4) This episode aired on Fox in December of 1999. Futurama is still going on— despite two cancellations— and currently sits at 9 seasons and 160 episodes. (This number includes four straight to DVD movies that have been repurposed as their own season.) The setting is New New York of the year 3000+ and the cast include a robot, a mutant, an alien, and a dim-witted but lovable man who was frozen and thawed out a thousand years in the future.

Futurama is, without a doubt, one of my favorite shows of all time, animated or not. I’m actually a little surprised that I haven’t gotten around to talking about it on my blog yet. I’ve done my best to look at this episode objectively and not bog down the post with sentiments of joy for my second favorite television show. (You all know what my most favorite is… right? Right?)

I could fill a whole post with talk about Futurama… the characters, the stories, the lore, the multiverse, the many times it’s returned from the dead and my feelings about each time. Hell, I probably will write that post some day. (Along with another one showing all the other Christmas episodes.) So for now, let’s put all that aside and just focus on this one particular Christmas episode, which falls in our off-the-wall category.

The intro song is great. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

The jaunty opening theme plays. One of the running features on the opening credits is that a different old-style animation plays on the billboard before the Planet Express ship crashes into it. In this episode it was a Christmas tree and a little white bunny in a sweater.

The crew. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

At the start of the episode, the crew are at a ski lodge watching a standup routine performed by Conan O’Brien’s head. (Current day celebrities are preserved in the future as decapitated heads in jars.)

After heckling the comedian, they go out to enjoy some skiing. Fry thinks that the fact that there’s snow meant global warming never happened. Leela says that it did, but nuclear winter cancelled it out.

Nice hang time. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

We get some fun sequences of them in a wintery setting, like Doctor Zoidberg having to wear a glove on his face tentacles and the Professor skiing while asleep.

I expected there to be a joke about how his skis were automated, some new invention of his, but nothing like this is mentioned. It’s kind of strange… I guess he was actually skiing in his sleep?

Fry looks so flat. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

As with everything else in this future world, skiing has changed. There are floating ski lifts, trees that raise and lower with voice commands, hover bobsleds.

Wonder if they ever got out of this? (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Bender snowboards off a cliff and crashes into a pond where kids are ice skating, Peanuts-style.

A sad Xmas. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

After some skiing and bobsled accidents, they all unwind in the lodge around a fire. (Bender with a Super Soaker full of cognac.) Since this is still pretty early in the series, there’s a lot Fry doesn’t know about the future, Christmas being one of them. He mentions that all this puts him in the Christmas spirit. Everyone’s confused until he spells it: X-M-A-S. Leela realizes he’s using an archaic pronunciation. It’s called Xmas now. Fry is sad because this’ll be his first Xmas away from home and his family.

Festive. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

They decide to help him celebrate it, starting with cutting down an Xmas tree. He’s shocked to find it’s a palm tree.

Eww. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

The Professor explains that pine trees have been extinct for 800 years, like poodles and their old-fashioned sense of decency. Then he gets naked.

That seems handy. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Fry complains that everything is different and Leela chops down the tree with an ax-laser.

Decorations don’t change much in a thousand years. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

As they fly back to the Planet Express building, we hear a futuristic rendition of Joy To the World. This is a good place for me to mention that Futurama is one of those rare cartoons where time actually passes. This episode was early in Season 2 and almost one year had passed from the first episode. In the most recent episode, they confirmed it’s currently 3024. I think more shows should go in real time like this.

BONK. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

They decorate the Xmas tree and Amy uses a jetpack to put the star on top. Fry just gets more sad thinking about his family’s traditions.

Hilarious. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Hermes hands out Xmas cards. Bender got the most cards, so he declares that he “won Xmas”. One of them was from his mom, a giant robotic manufacturing arm. It’s never explained who sent Fry cards. Zoidberg gets a card from his cousin and finds it quite humorous.

The holidays are still a sad time. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Leela is the only one who didn’t get any cards. At this point in the series, she still thought she was an alien and hadn’t learned her origins or met her family yet. Fry tries to get sympathy from her and she gets upset and cries, running off.

Fry does attempt the dance. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Fry realizes that Leela is more alone than him since she never had a family. Bender sees a news report about an alcohol kitchen for down and out robots and leaves to volunteer. (Robots in the future run on alcohol.) I’ve always liked this exchange— Bender: “I’m charitable. Remember that time I gave blood?“ Fry: “Whose blood?“ Bender: “I dunno, some guy’s.“

Zoidberg tries to teach Fry his people’s apology dance. But then Fry realizes he can buy her the best Christmas present ever and make her feel better.

So dramatic. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Everyone warns Fry to be back before sundown and he doesn’t see the big deal. They realize he doesn’t know about Santa Claus. The Professor explains that in 2801, the Friendly Robot Company built a robot Santa to determine who’d been naughty and who’d been nice and hand out presents. But due to a programming error, Santa’s standards are set too high, so everyone is naughty to him. If he catches anyone out after dark he cuts off their heads and stuffs their necks full of toys from his sack of horrors.

What a bargain! (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Fry disregards their warnings and goes shopping. At a store, a clerk tries to sell Fry a surface to Santa rocket launcher with Jolly-Seeking Missiles.

Bender as a filthy hobo. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

We see that Bender wasn’t really volunteering, he was just there to take alcohol from the needy. He cleans them out. When he sees a starving orphan, he laughs (because, like he mentioned earlier, tragedy is funny) but starts to feel bad.

Bongo? (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Fry ends up at a pet shop. He sees (and rejects) several potential gifts. (One of which is Bongo from the excellent comic Life In Hell.)

It really is a tough choice. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

He wavers between a $500 parrot and 500 $1 stink lizards. (“Girls like swarms of lizards, right?“)

He should’ve gone with the lizards. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

He chooses the parrot and immediately regrets it. Its squawk is super annoying, it bites his nose, and escapes the cage. It flies away.

Naked chess. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Leela returns and learns that Fry went out to get her a present. She’s worried for his safety, so she runs to go find him before it gets dark out.

How did she find him? (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Fry corners the parrot on a clock tower and nearly falls to his death. He’s saved at the last second by Leela, who’d somehow found him. This is where Fry says one of my favorite quotes from the show: “I am gonna get you so many lizards!“

Leela tells him he didn’t need to get her a present. He says that even though he missed his family, she never had one. She says that at least they can be lonely together, which is sweet. They wish each other a Merry Xmas and then there’s a sudden Robot Santa attack!

Santa is real! (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

In this episode, Robot Santa is voiced by John Goodman. (Later John DiMaggio lends his voice.) Robot Santa immediately declares them both naughty for disregarding each others feelings. Never mind that they made up, they never thought about their coworker’s feelings, especially Doctor Zoidberg’s.

“Santa Claus is gunning you down!” (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

He starts blasting at them with a laser rifle from his sack of horrors, bellowing “HO HO HO!” While they evade Robot Santa, Bender is leading the homeless robots and the orphan Tinny Tim in caroling and stealing from people.

Fry and Leela run from Robot Santa and his sleigh drawn by two robotic reindeer. Fry begs for their lives, promising to set out milk and cookies. Robot Santa sees this as a bribe and throws an ornament grenade at them. Fry says, “I never thought it would end this way— gunned down by Santa Claus.“

Robot Santa is a very slow writer. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Thinking they’re about to die, and seeing mistletoe hanging above them, Fry and Leela almost kiss, but Robot Santa shoots a missile at them. It blows up the parrot instead. Fry: “Your gift may require some assembly.“

Bender and his new friends get pulled into the conflict here and Robot Santa recognizes him as extremely naughty. Bender tries to frame the orphan, an act so despicable that Robot Santa has to add it to his list right away. This gives them a chance to get away.

How expensive are combs? (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Back at the Planet Express building, they’re doing a more complicated Gift of the Magi routine. Zoidberg gives Amy some combs. Amy sold her hair to buy combs for Hermes, who sold his to buy combs for Zoidberg.

It’s a good look on him. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Zoidberg bought both their hair so he could be beautiful.

The final showdown begins. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

The others arrive and before they can seal up the fireplace, Robot Santa chases them inside. he declares everyone there has been very naughty, except for Doctor Zoidberg.

He looks so happy! (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Zoidberg gets a pogo stick and happily hops away. For everyone else he says he’s going to tear off their skin like wrapping paper and deck the halls with their guts. Bender says he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus and tells everyone that if they don’t believe, he can’t hurt them. He’s proven wrong when Robot Santa whacks him with his sack. “Time to get jolly on your naughty asses! Ho ho ho ho!“ Rudolph’s nose starts glowing and Robot Santa’s belly starts jiggling like a bowl full of nitroglycerin.

Zapppp! (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Before he can blow up, Zoidberg saves everyone by clipping the string lights with his claws, electrocuting him. While he’s being zapped, Leela kicks him and everyone else hits him with the Xmas tree, trapping him in the fireplace, which they seal off.

The showdown ends. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

He explodes, being fired straight up into the air, ending the threat.

What, no gravy? (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Everyone sits down to Xmas dinner and Bender cooked the exploded parrot. Fry asks where he got the bird and Bender says it was lying in the street, like everything else he cooks. Nibbler swallows it whole.

Merry Xmas! (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

They all gather around the piano and sing a version of Santa Claus is Coming To Town which is about Robot Santa. (“Santa Claus is Gunning You Down!“) Merry Xmas everyone!

Over the ending credits, Robot Santa shows that he’s still alive and says he’ll be back next Xmas!

Fling. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

Thoughts: It was nice revisiting this classic episode. I really do love Futurama, but it's been ages since I've watched the early episodes. While they did a few more Xmas episodes as the series went on, this is the one that always stuck with me. Fry is our proxy into the world of Futurama, and we learn about the evolved holiday alongside him. It's a way of reexperiencing the joy and wonder of the season as we learned about it in childhood... each new revelation and reveal were surprising and unexpected.

Just as with the Simpsons and Disenchantment, the episode is packed with little details that are easily missed and rewards rewatching. Conan O’Brien’s head being too big for his jar, Leela’s one-eyed goggles, Nibbler singing along with Bender’s Christmas song, a spare Bender foot hanging on the fireplace with the stockings.

It was a very dense episode. So much happened, every minute jam-packed with dialog, action, and jokes. That said, one of Futurama’s great strengths is the ability to tell a good story even with all the throw-away gags and character moments. This episode is no exception, managing to tell a heartfelt story of loss, regret, holiday sadness, empathy, togetherness, and found family. The idea of the ageless icon of Santa Claus being warped in the future due to technology and well-meaning scientists is a solid one. Even with everything that happened and was revealed about the world of the year 3000, the episode never felt rushed or overstuffed. It's a hard balance, but Futurama excels at it.

How well did this episode handle Christmas? Pretty well, considering it has morphed into a whole new holiday by the time of December 3000. Xmas contains all the recognizable features of Christmas-- closeness with family and friends, generosity, presents, decorating, festive carolling-- but infuses it with the glitz and tech of the future. This is why I put it into the off-the-wall category rather than the nontraditional. It was weird, but still very much Christmas.

And for our last category, obviously Santa exists in a fashion in Futurama. We never learn if there was a real human Santa, but his iconography and image live on in robotic form, while his values and practice have been warped and twisted with faulty AI and the cold, unfeeling power of high technology. A lesson can be learned here for our current day and ever-growing reliance on flawed and impersonal artificial intelligence.

Can be learned... but won't be. Someday we'll all be cowering in fear from our own versions of Robot Santa.

Decorating the tree. (Credit: Warner Bros. Television)

And there you have it, three more Christmas episodes, from various time periods. (I honestly didn’t plan to put them in release date… it just happened that way.)

Each one of these had different tones and different approaches to Christmas, which lent well to categorizing them as I did. Although the quality, writing, and acting improved with each one, I did like all three for different reasons. As I mentioned, Growing Pains was lame and corny, but had its own charm. Married With Children was funny and nostalgic, but a bit dry and the edge of the humor has worn down over the decades since it aired. What was shocking at the time isn’t much by today’s standards. The same is true of Futurama, actually, as I found in my research the violence and premise of Robot Santa was a bit controversial at the time it first aired. No one would bat an eye today.

A running theme through all three was togetherness and giving, although Married With Children leaned more into the materialism and greed of the season. Despite that, the Bundys did their best to enjoy a quiet holiday together with their own unique traditions. (And pizza.) The Seavers genuinely enjoyed being with each other and celebrating their own Christmas, even Mike who was written as unapologetically sarcastic and unserious. Yes, even Mike thought Christmas was “neat”. And finally we saw that even a thousand years in the future, some form of the holiday survives, although it has changed due to the passage of time and necessity. In the future, everyone dreads Christmas for a different reason. Despite the time period, financial situation, and traditions, Christmas is still an important holiday for these three families.

I like that his buttons are bolts. (Credit: Matt Groening, 20th Television)

We have determined that Santa exists in the Growing Pains world. Honestly, that doesn’t surprise me. I would have been shocked if they hadn’t at least thrown in a hint at the end like they did. We talked previously about what I call the “Santa Problem” where television writers throw in the implication that Santa Has Been Really Real All Along even though there are no other mythical figures or other magic in the world of the sitcom. So, using this logic, this means Ben wakes up the next morning in a world that is forever changed for him, knowing that Santa is real and the possibilities for fantasy in his reality are ever-present, lurking just below the surface. How does he deal with that? Does it change him forever? And where the hell does his dog go after this episode? Does he give her up because she’s a constant reminder of the mind-boggling and ungraspable concept of one shred of magic in an ordinary world? We’ll never know the answers to these burning questions. (Unless one of you writes some fan fiction, I guess.)

Santa existing in the Married With Children world wouldn’t have broken their world, because it was always based on absurdism and comedic exaggeration. Yet they didn’t go that route. They do have at least two more Christmas episodes, so maybe they bring the real Santa in for one of those? I can’t recall. I do know Al meets aliens on one episode. He wouldn’t blink at the revelation that a magical fat guy wanders his world.

Does Robot Santa count as a real Santa? I think so. In the future scientists have come up with a way for Santa Claus to exist in reality, but it goes horribly wrong. This doesn’t break the Futurama world in any way because the World of Tomorrow is already filled with such craziness that bringing in holiday icons seems almost commonplace. Robot Santa returns several times, and later we meet his colleagues, Kwanzaa Bot and Zombie Jesus. (Voiced by Coolio and Mark Hamill respectively.) In one episode, Bender takes his place as a kinder Robot Santa. If there ever was a real Santa Claus, we can be sure that Robot Santa decided he was naughty and killed him.

One little plot element that was not touched on which I feel is vitally important… just where did Al get that Santa suit? Did he actually own one? Or did he take it off the dead skydiving Santa? For that matter, where did Walt get the second Santa suit and Ben his elf suit? One thing these shows never mention is where all the costumes come from. It’s fairly common in a sitcom for a character to just come out of a room dressed as something with no further explanation given. Do people just have costumes laying around in the off chance that they need to be Santa or an elf in an emergency situation? Should I have a Santa suit? How will I know when it’s called for? Shit, I could be forced to act as Santa at any moment and I wouldn’t be prepared! Oh man, this is bad. What if I have to be Santa later today? Or even an elf? I would let everyone down.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Santa Emergencies aside, it’s pretty clear what each show’s universe thinks about Santa. Let’s talk now about the category I put each show in. Growing Pains was full-on traditional... sitting around with family decorating the Christmas tree, picking out thoughtful (or funny) gifts, enjoying Christmas treats and the cozy closeness of a lowkey family holiday. The Bundy's had their own take on Christmas, molding it into a shape their family can enjoy. The unexpected guest of a dead mall Santa didn't derail their quirky celebration, and ultimately added to it. Futurama was the best of both worlds, merging the traditional Christmas with the nontraditional aspects of Xmas. As with everything a thousand years in the future, Christmas becomes something different... new and strange, but still encoded with the DNA of what had come before.

As I said in my Peanuts post, there is no right way to do Christmas. Every family does it differently, depending on their traditions, their means, and their preferences. In this post we ran a spectrum of different Christmases, looking at how the Seaver family, the Bundy family, and the Planet Express crew all view and enjoy the winter holiday. For how drastically different these takes were, they all felt like Christmas of a sort, and conveyed those feelings we strive to capture in our own Christmas traditions. So whether you laser down a palm tree or steal one from the curb... whether you flee from Santa or talk him down from your roof... whether you enjoy a nice Christmas pizza or something you found in the street... it's all the same holiday. It’s what Christmas is to you and yours that is the most important.

A moment of silence for all those Santas taken from us too soon. (Credit: Columbia Pictures Television, Fox)

Thank you all so much or joining me for another Christmas/Xmas at the SoraRabbit Hole! This was a fun one, and even though I had three whole posts, I didn’t get as overwhelmed with my deadlines as I did over Halloween. Maybe I’m getting better at time management. Or maybe it’s a Christmas miracle? Who knows. Whatever the reason, I’m glad to have been able to celebrate another holiday with you. I hope you enjoyed the festivities, both here and in your own lives. I appreciate you all, and I’ll see you in 2025 for more fun! Before then, I’ll make sure to get both a Santa costume and an elf suit. You know… just in case.